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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Put thought into how to improve your financial position. Contracts, legal matters, settlements, or investing in a skill or talent you have will help you subsidize your overhead. Communication, short trips, updating your résumé, or business meetings should be planned.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Spend time with friends, family, and helping out in your community. Take on a responsibility that will help someone out. It may be difficult, but it will be rewarding. A personal relationship will develop into a much closer connection if you are affectionate.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Put greater emphasis on the approach you take to professional projects. Innovative ideas will give you the edge and impress someone influential. A change in plans will lead to meeting new people and exploring possibilities that develop. Don't spend impulsively.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don't sit at home, or you will miss out on a great opportunity if you aren't a participant. Network, socialize, and get involved in project, pastimes, or events in your community — good things will happen. Love is on the rise.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Responsibilities and demands are likely. Be prepared to dig in and get whatever needs to be done out of the way so you can move on to more enticing projects or plans. A change of environment will spark a moneymaking idea.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Express what you have to offer and are prepared to do. Make your position clear, and counter any negativity or criticism you encounter. Focus on the end result. Love is highlighted, and a romantic end to your day should be planned.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Concentrate on acquiring information, knowledge, and experience. Good fortune will result from what and whom you know, so mingle with people you feel can help you advance. Don't let a relationship stand between you and your success.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Put greater emphasis on love, creativity, and using your skills and talent to inch ahead. Let your intuition guide you, and don't hesitate to make a promise or commitment to someone you feel contributes to your life personally or professionally. Love is highlighted.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Keep the peace. Put more effort into investments, your surroundings, or a deal. Along with honesty, innovation and being selective will lead to success. Listen carefully to a proposal, and if it sounds too good to be true, do more research.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Please someone you care about. Sharing your interests and offering your help or services will put you in a good position. Discipline will pay off and help you complete jobs that may have been difficult in the past. Romance is highlighted.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Use your imagination, and you can avoid negativity. Turn whatever you come up against into a positive by offering a unique solution. Trust in who you are and what you can do. Expand your interests and your friendships. Creativity is on the rise.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Get back to basics, resurrect old plans or goals, and give them a creative twist that will turn an OK idea into something spectacular and successful. Love is on the rise, and romance should not be forgotten.



Defining the Relationship:

• S.O. = Significant Other; a person with whom you are clearly in a committed, romantic relationship and could not believably argue otherwise — no matter how badly you wish the person with whom you're otherwise arguing would believe you.

• O.S.O. = Other Significant Other; same as above, only you have two such people, and hopefully, for your sake, they don't know about each other.

• S.S.O. = Statistically Significant Other; the person you're spending more time with than what could be contributed to random chance.

• S.Mo. = Significant Mother; the person who treats you like a child most of the time.

• S.No. = Significant 'Nother; the person you're banging on the side.

• Sib.O. = SIBnificant Other; this term applies when you and your S.O. are confused for siblings at least 25 percent of the time. OR your sibling you're banging.

• Sing.O. = SINGnificant Other; the person with whom you love doing duets on karaoke night but with whom you would never associate otherwise.

• C.S.O. = Clinically Significant Other; the person who gave you an STD.

• S.B. = Significant Brother; for non-blacks, the one black person referenced immediately after saying, "Hey, I'm not racist. I have plenty of black friends."

• S.U. = Significant Udder; a person with zero long-term intentions who is milking a relationship for all its worth (great sex, free rent, etc.).

• Sin.O. = SINificant Other; friend with benefits.

Andrew R. Juhl cribbed some of this knowledge from Urban Dictionary.






>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn


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