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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Focus on home, money, and relationships. Refrain from including an outsider in a personal discussion. Keep things simple, and solutions will become apparent. Make unique plans that display what you have to offer and what you are capable of doing.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Aggressive action coupled with reasonable communication and practical application will bring you greater opportunities and the chance to experience and learn something that will help you advance. Visiting someone special will improve your relationship. Love is in the stars.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Use experience and your imagination regarding work or coming up with a moneymaking plan. A change of heart regarding a cause, organization, or one of your peers will result in an opportunity to try something new.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Accept the inevitable, and do your best to remain calm and keep the peace if you don't agree with someone you must deal with daily. A contract or settlement will develop through an unusual source.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Your generosity will overwhelm the people you help. A change of location or visiting someone who interests you will enable you to see a situation you face from a different perspective. Inconsistency must be avoided in order to maintain a good reputation.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Check your options, and opt for what gives you most for the least. It makes more sense to stick to a budget and to practice being moderate. At the end of the day, you'll look like a genius.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Take care of business, but leave time to engage in something uniquely creative that brings you joy. Think big, travel if necessary, and you will interest someone in taking part in your plan. A change will boost your confidence and your earning potential.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Shake off any negativity you are feeling, and spend more time with people who motivate and inspire you. Trust in your abilities, and don't second-guess what you know in your heart you must do. Love, romance, and passion are in the stars.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Change your plans at the last minute if a better opportunity comes your way. Be honest, and you will avoid interference. Give a valid reason for your actions, and keep moving. A partnership is likely to undergo change.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Concentrate on professional advancement, making changes that will help you get ahead and clearing up any problems that have the potential to cause a setback in your plans. Nurture a personal relationship, and leave room for romance.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Socialize, network, and share your thoughts with the people you encounter. You will grow mentally and emotionally, bringing about changes that will give you a chance to explore your creative ideas and talents. Travel and communication are highlighted.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A financial opportunity is heading your way that will allow you to pursue your goals. Romantic encounters will develop, enabling you to form a deeper connection with someone special. Sharing your plans and making accommodations to suit your needs will pay off.



More Gray Matter Goulash:

• It always surprises me that "being approached on the street by a man in costume" doesn't rank higher in those polls of people's greatest fears.

• "Oh, actually, I don't drive." seems to be the new "Oh, actually, I don't have a TV."

• I read that the Dutch are using stem cells to make hamburgers now. It's kind of hard not to feel like they're just messing with us.

• Let's have a moment to remember all the spies who gave the ultimate sacrifice in order for Cosmopolitan to get its hands on those top-secret sex moves.

• Those premium pet-food commercials with close-up money shots of all the freshest ingredients must give starving people the world over a real chuckle.

• "Cutting back" is good in terms of watching your caloric intake but bad in terms of knife revenge.

• Candy bars is about the only realm in America where "fun size" means "small."

• Word to the wise: don't order that book The Elements of Style if you're expecting tips on how to dress more fabulously.

• Someone should start a rival magazine to The Atlantic called The Pacific, and all the contributors should be smug fishermen.

• If it wasn't for stop signs and the UFC, I feel like the octagon would be one of our least-used shapes.

• You know, it's true what they say: It's the little things in life that count. Like wearing mittens and secretly flipping people the bird.

WILL HARTMAN worries that his conscience might actually be an asshole.






>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn


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