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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Rethink the past before you make the same mistake again. Stand up for your rights, but don't jeopardize your position. Serious talks and negotiations will show your strength. Love is kicking in, so make plans to party in the evening hours.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You'll impress the people you encounter. A trip may present you with unexpected decisions but nothing that you cannot handle. Your ability to take charge and find solutions will lead to greater opportunities personally and professionally.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You'll have a lot to consider financially, legally, or medically. Don't take chances. Slow down, and make your decisions based on facts, figures, and whatever expert advice you can obtain. Don't let self-deception be your downfall. Do what's best for you.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Your peers will look up to you. Use your intelligence, good memory, and sound judgment to come up with solutions that will benefit everyone involved with you. Your popularity is on the rise.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Do whatever you can for others. Your generosity and your dedication will put you into the spotlight. Not everyone will like what you do, and some may even criticize you, but know in your heart that you did the right thing.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You'll have a wealth of knowledge to share with your friends and family. Your experience and expertise will help you resolve issues that have been pending for some time. Keep your expenditures moderate. Listen, respond, and show your leadership ability.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Look at your financial situation and options. Protect your assets from someone who may want a chunk of what you've worked so hard to acquire. A change in your current relationships will help open doors to a brighter future.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Partnerships and personal relationships will blossom if you interact and share your thoughts. Much can be accomplished both at work and at home if you collaborate and make definite plans for future expansion. Let your intuition be your guide.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Don't be fooled by someone making idle promises. Ulterior motives are apparent, and you don't want to end up giving too much for what's really being offered. Draw up an agreement you can live with or take a pass. Love is highlighted.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Make plans that will accommodate the people in your life whom you love the most. Do whatever you can to build your personal assets. Your responsibilities may increase, but so will your power, control, and future prospects.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Expansion at home will allow you to develop something you want to pursue. Love and romance are in the stars, and making special plans will bring you closer to that special someone. You will learn a valuable lesson from someone you respect.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Keep your life simple and to the point. Too much of anything will slow down your progress. Hard work, dedication, and loyalty to the people who have given you the most in the past will lead to a bright future and new beginnings.

Random thoughts:

• Ever notice the abbreviation for the last three days of the work week is WTF?

• They say that brevity is the soul of wit, but I don't know. Wit is just an idea; does it really have a soul? I guess Plato would say it does, but you know where he is now? He's dead.

• Last night, I dreamed there was a zombie outbreak in Sudan. So, like, be on the lookout for that.

• Maybe I should stop turning my opinions into jokes. Then people will never know my real opinions. I'm like the boy who cried sarcasm.

• What defines a "big rack" on a woman? On a deer, I'd say anything over eight points. But on a woman? Probably more like 14.

• Brilliant idea for an energy-conservation/efficiency consultant agency name: UseLess™ Consultants. There. It's in the ether now. First one to the patent office wins.

• According to a recent study, Americans will believe anything if you say it's from a study and it makes them feel superior to others.

• I love commercials that pretend to be real-life conversations. It's usually like two women in a kitchen talking about periods or something and then one of them just starts straight up dropping obscene amounts of knowledge and product specs about Kleenex or some such fluff. "Did you know that Kleenex is made with 17 percent recycled organic alpaca wool?" Well ,I do now, Crazy Lady Who Talks Like Nobody Ever Talks Ever.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks Matt Gorman for providing material for today's Ledge.

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• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
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Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
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• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
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