|
New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): Take care of your responsibilities. Don't trust others to put as much effort into something as you do. Disappointment will lead to a standoff that adds to your stress. See matters through to completion, and collect the rewards.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Focus on relationships, and take a position of leadership. Put your best foot forward and call the shots. Making creative suggestions and carrying out your plans without expecting anything in return will enhance your reputation and the way you live.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Help others, but don't let it cost you financially. Look at the big picture, and find a way to minimize what needs to be done. Keep life and relationships simple, and maintain a positive outlook. Take care of your health and wellness.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Helping others will lead to friendship. Take time out of your busy schedule to pamper or treat yourself to something nice. Love is on the rise, and spending time with the people you care about most will build a stronger relationship.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Emotional issues will climax if you address complaints aggressively. Step back, and put your effort into preparing and executing what's expected of you professionally. Attend a meeting or function that allows you to expand your business contacts.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): A change will be restful and spark new interests. Take a trip, or get involved in something you've never considered doing before. Love and romance are heading your way, and enjoying the company of someone special will result in an improved lifestyle.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Everything will focus around contracts, money, and negotiating the best deal you can. Don't leave anything to chance. Being fully prepared and offering something with a unique twist will grab the attention of someone with the ability to help you establish your plans.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Take care of unfinished personal business that can alter the way you move forward personally. Use your imagination, and you'll come up with a formula that will enhance your chance of success without letting your personal life suffer.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Your good ideas will bring positive change to your personal life. Showing interest in someone able to contribute to your plans will help you move forward. Don't take on responsibilities that don't belong to you, or you'll stifle your chance to succeed.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Spontaneity coupled with a little charm and pressure will help you get your way both at home and at work. Let your intuition guide you — you will find the perfect way to please someone you love. Passion is highlighted.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Put more time and effort into learning, honing, and researching. The time spent now will pay off when the time comes to make both personal and professional changes. Updating your image or making physical improvements will result in compliments.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): By helping an organization you have worked with in the past, you will work your way into a position that will spark your imagination and motivate you to explore new interests. Love, romance, and commitment are all in the stars.



Andrew R. Juhl, Professor of Letters:

• Dear Powerlifter Somewhere in the Campus Recreation & Wellness Center: I understand you're proud of the weight you're lifting. You want to share. But maybe ask people to come over and watch you lift those pointlessly large amounts metal instead of forcing everyone within earshot to search their peripheries for what sounds like an ongoing sexual extravaganza. Yes, we see you. Yes, you're very vascular. We'd rather focus on our squats. Friday is Butt Day.

• Dear Same Powerlifter Who Then Used the Toilet Prior to Me: Originally, I was going to insist that you learn to flush, but I think you must know how to flush as well as know it is pointless in your particular case. Somehow, you crap pure iron. Flushes have no effect. Nor fists. Nor hammers. At all. Perhaps ease up on the supplements? I'm sort of impressed, and I imagine you must feel greatly relieved. Anyways, for these and other reasons, I forgive you.

• Dear Super Duper Ridiculously Gorgeous Women: No, I will not buy you a drink. I will especially not buy you a drink if your first words to me EVER resemble, "Buy me a drink?" I do not care that you are pretty. I do not care that you have bountiful and unblemished cleavage. I do not care how slutty you're dressed. The world has given you plenty; you don't need free booze from me. Besides, too many women have gotten diamonds out of me this way already.

Andrew R. Juhl actually just wishes he were a powerlifter so women would buy HIM drinks.






>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn


In today's issue:





 
Privacy Policy (8/15/07) | Terms of Use (4/28/08) | Content Submission Agreement (8/23/07) | Copyright Compliance Policy (8/25/07) | RSS Terms of Use

Copyright © The Daily Iowan, All Rights Reserved.