|
New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): Refrain from anger even if someone pressures you. Take a step back, and get a clear picture regarding your next move. Make choices based on your needs, not what someone else wants. Offer suggestions, not your time or money.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Show everyone how talented you are. Discuss your plans, and engage in events that will add to your knowledge. The experience you gain will back up what you have been displaying all along. Love is highlighted, and a celebration should be planned.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Keep your personal life a secret. Focus on money, contracts, and negotiations. Dealing with institutions can bring good results as long as you are receptive and willing to compromise. Offer suggestions, but don't appear to be pushy.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The spotlight is on you. Take care of business, and offer to help others. Say little and do a lot — you will impress someone who has something to offer you in return. A partnership can change your life personally or professionally.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Tread carefully when dealing with peers, colleagues, or family members. Don't take on someone else's chores without getting something in return. You are likely to be taken for granted if you aren't careful. Think positively, and make changes that improve your life.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Embrace change. You will have the charm and the expertise to succeed. Love and romance are in the stars, and travel or taking time out to be with someone you love will put a positive spin on your day. Live, love, and laugh.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Put greater emphasis on money and how you handle your personal finances. An opportunity to save or invest as well as stabilize your future should be taken. You may be forced to alter the way you live. Check out your options.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You have discipline, strength, and courage. Be creative in the way you approach partnerships, and you will encourage the people around you to adopt your methods. A personal relationship should be altered to suit your current situation.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Share your ideas, and you will get the support your need to forge ahead. Partnerships will bring you greater opportunities as long as you lay down ground rules that delegate chores evenly. Offering help can turn into a paid position.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Make home improvements that please the ones you love. Explore what you can do in order to earn more money or find a way to turn a skill or talent you have into extra cash. Actions speak louder than words.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Take it easy while traveling or dealing with people in your community with the potential to influence your future. Be prepared to deal with questions and opposition. Stick close to home, and enjoy expanding your ideas and plans.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Let your imagination wander. You'll come up with remarkable ideas that can lead to a better income and long-term contracts. Budget wisely when it comes to personal items and needs. Save for something that can alter your life.



The Five Worst Itches:

• Wrist Bottom. Almost impossible to get rid of. The best solution is to burn it away; for example, apply affected area to a leather steering wheel on a hot summer afternoon. Failing that, try a power sander and an 80-grit disc.

• Inside Nostril. Not terribly unpleasant, but impossible to scratch without people thinking you're picking your nose. Also, post-scratch hand-washing and food-handling rules are ambiguous on this one.

• Groin. Generally happens only when scratching would be inappropriate, such as in a board meeting, teaching an elementary math class, at da club, during sex, fixing the orbiting space station, while addressing Congress, or while being handed a newborn.

• Buttonhole. There's no demure way to deal with The Most Persistent Itch There Is. You can't spank or buttwiggle it away, and even the tiniest grain of sand feels like the fuselage of a 747 when it's wedged that close to your hideyhole. Try to vanquish this itch with anything short of a hot shower, and you're only fooling yourself.

• Foot Bottom. These itches are deeply embedded, almost to the bone. Even with your shoes off, there's almost no way to eliminate it; the more you scratch, the more it perseveres, laughing at your futile efforts. Often occurs with alarming intensity at highly inconvenient times, such as anywhere it's considered impolite to remove your shoes. You simply have to ride it out, hopelessly grinding your foot against the sole of your shoe while making faces that cross between constipation and sexual tension.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks interwebs friend Blozor for some material in today's Ledge.






>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn


In today's issue:





 
Privacy Policy (8/15/07) | Terms of Use (4/28/08) | Content Submission Agreement (8/23/07) | Copyright Compliance Policy (8/25/07) | RSS Terms of Use

Copyright © The Daily Iowan, All Rights Reserved.