New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Money will come and go because of temptations that keep you cash-poor. Acquiring financial information will make it easier to budget for your future. Rely on experts. Take control by creating a lifestyle that fits your budget.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): An acquaintance will help you find a solution. You mustn't offer too much information in the meantime. A third party will make the difference when it comes to the outcome of a personal situation you face.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Put your skills and talent to work for you. The more you offer that is unique and timely, the better equipped you will be to weather the changing economic climate. A backup plan will put your mind at ease.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don't trust anyone making rash changes or using force or pressure to get ahead. Your emotions will be difficult to control, leaving you in a vulnerable position if someone criticizes your actions. Get your facts and figures straight.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Communication will be your strong point. Speak up — you will grab the attention of someone able to help you make the changes you are suggesting. Take physical and mental strides to reach your goals. People you have worked with in the past will be valuable to you now.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Be responsible. The decisions you make now will have an effect on the people you care about. Take an unusual approach to finding solutions. Partnerships are highlighted, and networking functions should be attended. Love is on the rise.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Take care of your personal needs first. A partnership may try your patience, but it should be handled with caution to avoid ongoing problems. Look at the big picture before you decide to make a move that could jeopardize your reputation.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Keep the creative journey you desire afloat. Putting in extra time and effort and getting together with people striving to reach similar goals will give you a renewed vision and greater clarity as to how you should proceed. Love is highlighted.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Keep your money in a safe place. Temptation will be costly. Spend more time using the things you already have instead of buying something new. A good idea can help you make your space more inspirational. Take on a physical challenge.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Concentrate on what you can do without being taken for granted. Offering too much will lead to dissatisfaction and anger. Make a commitment, but only if you feel you are entering into an arrangement that offers enough in return.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Use the skills, knowledge, and talent you have mastered, and you will come up with an idea, service, or product that can help you bring in extra cash. Work on self-esteem as well as moving forward with decisions that will improve your current situation.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Initiate something that you feel passionate about doing. Helping a cause or finding a new way to present an old idea will bring about a new opportunity. Romance will help ease your stress and clear your head.

Why women can't write comedy columns like the Ledge:

• Let's get this out of the way up front: Tina Fey is likely a fluke and even more likely a post-op transsexual.

• It's genetic. They simply don't have the glands or the musculature to handle it.

• They never had to develop the skill to begin with. Men, if they are unattractive, can still get women simply by making them laugh. In fact, the uglier a man is, the funnier he tends to be (this explains my unequalled hilarity). As a corollary: all women, even ugly women, are insanely beautiful. Stupid gorgeous jerks.

• Joke-for-joke, women only make 80 chuckles for every 100 chuckles a man makes.

• Women and self-deprecation don't jive. It's comedic when a man recounts his failures and shortcomings, but when a woman does it, she sounds whiny or clinically depressed, which isn't funny. I mean, seriously, did you just laugh at that? Because it's not funny, it's sad.

• Because the best comedy isn't pink, it's blue.

• Good comedy requires a penchant for biting satire, caustic commentary, and sometimes downright angry indignation. Women don't possess these abilities anywhere in their fluffy demeanors, which is also why they never get mad or have arguments with anyone, especially their boyfriends.

• Fine. Prove me wrong: Write a Ledge.

Andrew R. Juhl is being facetious; he thinks women can be hilarious and genuinely hopes for some submissions.

>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn

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