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ARIES (March 21-April 19): You may feel like sharing your stories, adventures, and personal thoughts, but it will cause some emotional wear and tear if you do so with someone less discrete. Instead, make the changes that will help you reach your goal in secret.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Mingle with peers, friends, and family. Business developments will open up, leading you in a new direction. Learn all you can and hold people to the promises made. Delays while traveling or dealing with institutions or large corporations can be expected.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Share your ideas and solutions. Helping someone in need now will open up a chance to get something in return. Offer your time, not your cash. Take care of financial or medical issues without delay. An unusual opportunity is within reach.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Emotional distress due to unexpected changes can be expected. Focus on your creative endeavors and future plans; you may be able to alter the outcome in your favor.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Put all your effort into details, precision, and drumming up the support you need to move ahead. Travel, communication, and striking up deals with past colleagues, clients, and peers will pay off. Don't let your emotions stand in the way of your success.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Take care of emotional issues before they turn into a costly venture. Refuse to let anyone put pressure on you to invest or get involved financially in something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Love is highlighted.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Traveling, attending a conference, or getting together with people from your past will all contribute to your obtaining valuable information. Your ideas will captivate your audience and interest someone able to contribute to your plans.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Put greater emphasis on both personal and professional partnerships. Alter your residence or your workspace to better suit your current situation. Talks will lead to solutions, and travel will contribute to firsthand information. Love is in the stars.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Don't confront a situation if you cannot be perfectly honest. Changes you make to the way you live are encouraged; they will bring about a closer bond with someone you want to spend more time with. A physical challenge will be rejuvenating.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Fact-finding will help you avoid a dubious situation with a friend, neighbor, or relative. Arguments are likely to erupt if you try to make changes without proper documentation or permission. Stick close to home, and nurture important relationships.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Everything has a beginning and an end. Draw from the best from the past, and rework friendships, ideas, and goals to fit your current situation to help you set out on a journey that will turn out to be fortuitous.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Control issues are present. You have to give and take if you want to accomplish something worthwhile. Too much of anything will work against you and cause problems with the people you need in your life to succeed. Reunite with old friends and colleagues.



Random thoughts:

• Bacardi, as an alcoholic beverage, benefits heavily from rhyming with "party," rapper-name-dropping-wise.

• There exists a hypothesis in the scientific community that one of the reasons children today are bigger than they were 100 years ago is because they now eat beef containing human growth hormones. This hypothesis is, obviously, ridiculous; that same beef contains numerous bovine-specific growth hormones, but none of our children have turned into cows. Yet.

• I was called unprofessional today. Show's what they know: I'm unprofessional every day.

• You think Nostradamus'swife ever got tired of not getting a straight answer about when he'd be home for dinner?

• It's always kind of annoyed me that women have to swipe their ID card to gain entrance into the women s locker room at most gyms, university or otherwise. I say turn that on its head: Require men to present a government-issued "Not Rapist" card to get into the gym.

• Whenever people say they've "reached a happy medium," I always picture them talking on the phone with a jazzy Miss Cleo.

• I've always liked how the IRS addresses people as "taxpayer" in its mailing materials. Kind of like the way Robocop always calls people "citizen." I guess the only real difference being that RoboCop had a shred of humanity and at least some measure of mercy.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks friends Brian Tanner and Jayne Sanderson for collaborating on today's Ledge.






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