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New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (Ma rch 21-April 19): You'll find it difficult to sidestep emotional issues. Speak up, and settle whatever is bothering you. A change may be necessary if you don't want to lose confidence or self-respect. Once you start down a certain path, you must complete your mission.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Put a little force behind your words; you will get what you want. You don't have to upset authority figures, but making diplomatic suggestions in a tactful manner will show who is in control.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You can make a difference. Suggest reforms you feel will help create a better environment at work, home, or in your community. You don't have to donate financially; putting in time or offering services will help raise your profile and your reputation.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Sharing your thoughts will lead to interference and opposition. Make sure you are fully prepared to address any issues that arise. Keep your statements simple, to the point, and within reason. Treat your responsibilities seriously.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Take initiative. Size up your situation, target your goal, and proceed to the finish line. Don't let personal demands stand in the way of your professional responsibilities. Love is on the rise, and romance should be in your thoughts.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Listen carefully to what's being discussed. You shouldn't overreact, but you also must make sure that you fight for what you want. Don't back down, and don't allow a change to a settlement or contract leave you at a loss.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Partnerships will be under scrutiny. Diplomacy is encouraged if you want to get your way. Know what you are up against, and be willing to compromise in order to close a deal or secure your position. Expansion is apparent but must be reasonable.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Ask questions, and you will get answers. Once you are able to put all the pieces together, you will have a very good chance of getting what you want. Use your skills, talents, and power of persuasion — you will capture attention.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Size up your personal situation, and make the alterations to your home and domestic life that you desire. Socializing and networking will do wonders for your confidence and your overall appeal. Share creative ideas. Love is highlighted.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Caution will be necessary physically, financially, and verbally. Don't stir things up or meddle in other people's affairs. Now is not the time to confront someone; instead, use the time to protect your assets, reputation, and your health.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Self-improvement projects will lead to compliments. You will make a good impression on people from your past if you make it a point to reconnect. Love and romance are in the stars; they should be used to stabilize an important relationship.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don't let anxiety lead to impulsiveness or promising more than you can deliver. Patient and well-thought-out plans will be your ticket to success. Take on a job that will keep you busy and satisfy you. Let your imagination lead the way.



General and unsolicited advice:

• To double chances at winning a raffle, make sure to put halves of your ticket in the hopper.

• You know those 'No U-Turn' signs they put on the interstate? Those are the best places to make U-turns.

• No matter who you are or what you believe, we all taste alike to cannibals.

• You can't spell "incompetence" without "competence." Or much else, for that matter.

• Atheism is a pragmatic religious choice; you get Sundays off, get to keep more of your money, and don't need to worry about God watching you masturbate.

• It's bad if your blind date is interrupted by Dateline. To prevent this: don't arrange to meet at their house. In the afternoon. After meeting on MySpace.

• Excedrin's dosage instructions are really more of a suggestion. Like the "serving size" is on food labels.

• Always keep it real. If you can't keep it real, fake keepin' it real.

• Only have sex with a man in the back seat of his car if it's a rental car, a luxury car, or both.

• Only have sex with a woman in the back seat of her car if she asks you to.

• There's a fine line between being efficient and lazy. During a long road trip, it's efficient to not stop and to instead use an empty Powerade bottle. It's lazy to not screw the cap back on.

• Be nice to everyone you meet. Usually it's easier, less stressful, and you never know who has a hot sister.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks Brian Tanner and Nathan Wulf for collaborating on today's Ledge.






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