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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Take stock of what's on your agenda, and make sure you take care of the most important things first. Last-minute changes that are out of your control are likely to develop. Compensating for such delays will keep you on track.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Check out your alternatives when dealing with peers, legal matters, or anything to do with institutions or government agencies. Make sure you stick to the rules and avoid upsetting anyone who can influence the outcome of something you are trying to accomplish.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Put more into getting things done instead of talking about what you want to accomplish. It's important to follow through and to uphold your reputation. Don't make an impulsive move if it concerns money. Sit tight and work hard.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Avoid making abrupt changes that reflect your expertise and knowledge. Showing your sensitivity and concern is good, but not if it makes you appear unstable or impractical. Don't mix business with pleasure. Innovative but sound alternatives will work best.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Expand your awareness. Self-improvement is a plus that will contribute to the big picture. A change of scenery or connecting with new people will lead to partnerships and lifestyle changes you might want to consider. Love is on the rise.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don't give in to temptation to spend your cash. Anything that threatens your long-term security must be avoided. Go over your personal papers, and do whatever it takes to protect your assets. A headache can be expected due to someone annoying you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Put more time and effort into important partnerships. Open up regarding your intentions, feelings, and beliefs. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something that doesn't work well for you. Call the shots, and let your experience guide you.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Share your knowledge and creative ideas. Express how you feel about organizations and the people you are dealing with daily. It's important to be surrounded by people who inspire and motivate you to explore avenues that contribute to your goals.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Ulterior motives are apparent. Take charge, call the shots, and don't be afraid to intervene if someone tries to push you in a direction that doesn't suit your needs. Choose change over more of the same, and you will make progress.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Rely on the past in order to make the right choice now. Job prospects look good as long as you offer services that are within your means. Problems while traveling or dealing with people opposing you can be expected.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Revert to the things you enjoy doing most, and you will improve your position and ease your stress. Love is on the rise, and discussing future plans with someone you consider to be special will set you on a positive path.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Ease into whatever it is you want to pursue. Pull from resources you know you can count on, and set a standard, budget, and timeline that will keep you moving forward until you reach your goals. Don't give in to bullies or peer pressure.



OK to Hear at a Da Club but not the Senior Citizen's Center:

• "Have you ever seen a skirt that short before?"

• "You just made my heart skip a beat."

• "What do I wear to bed? Depends."

• "Save the last dance for me?"

• "Drop dead."

• "He looks DTF."

• "Tonight, I'm ridin' dirty."

• "You have a condom, right?"

• "Last call."

• "Does the carpet match the drapes?"

• "You wanna use the paddles?"

• "Man, what died in here?"

• "I don't even have a gag reflex anymore."

• "Lotta hotties here tonight."

• "My panties are so wet right now."

• "One of our regulars got two of the girls pregnant last month."

• "There's a couple having sex in the men's room."

• "I can see myself spending the rest of my life with you."

Andrew R. Juhl thanks Jayne, Erik, David, Kevin, Kit & Aaron for contributing to today's Ledge.






>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn


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