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Elliot: Moolah cow & baseball

BY BEAU ELLIOT | APRIL 02, 2013 5:00 AM

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And so the Moolah cow comes down the road (to borrow a bit from James Joyce).

If you’re going to borrow, borrow from the best, says my friend Dr. Tom, who should know about the best, being a Joyce scholar and a Red Sox skeptic. (Red Sox skeptics these days outnumber the Chinese, which is hard to do in a normal day. Not to say that there is such a thing as a “normal day.” See March.)

Of course, March is now in the rearview mirror, though its Madness rolls on (and continues to torch my bracket and my so-called picks). Yeah, I know — complaining about how bad your bracket turned out is like complaining about how bad Republicans turned out. You wind up nowhere fast. And nowhere is a place you want to approach slowly.

Speaking of the GOP, not that we were, a new Gallup poll says 20 percent of Americans indicate that Republicans are too “unwilling to compromise,” as Chris Cillizza of the Washington Post reports.

But who cares? It’s April, and that means it’s Opening Day for Major League Baseball. Which means that winter is over (that March 21 stuff is for astrologers). Which, more importantly, means that the Red Sox, the BeauSox, are invading Yankee Stadium to take on the Evil Empire.

(But what about John Boehner and Mitch McConnell being the Evil Empire? you say. Not today. Baseball is back, and all is right with the world. Well, there is that North Korea thing. And Exxon had another oil spill in or near Mayflower, Ark. What? So now Exxon is trying to poison the Pilgrims?)

You Yankee fans will be happy to hear the Sox went meekly in the first. I have the feeling that it’s going to be a meek season for the Sox.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, the Post’s Cillizza also reports that the Gallup poll also shows one-quarter of Republicans (OK, 26 percent) also believe their party is too inflexible. That’s interesting, because the Democratic figure is 22 percent. The independent percentage is 17 percent. Hmm.

Good news from the diamond, though. In the top of the second, the Red Sox sent nine men to the plate and scored 4 runs against the normally tough CC Sabathia. So who cares about percentages in polls? Coolish.

Coolish, which, yeah, I know, sounds an awful much like Coolidge but isn’t. Which is good, because this country probably has had all the Coolidge it can stand. (Probably all the coolish, too, for that matter.) Electing Mitt Romney last November probably would have brought us a rerun of Coolidge.

Not to be confused with Coleridge, although the opening of “In Xanadu did Kubla Khan/A stately pleasure dome decree” seems to predate Mitt Romney’s basic platform. And thinking, if that’s what you call it.

Oops. Jon Lester of the Sox coughed up 2 runs in the bottom of the fourth. With two outs, no less. Giving up runs with two outs is far, far worse than voting Republican. (Yes, I really did say that.)

Meanwhile, back at the ranch house, from the Post: “Exxon Mobil said that one of its pipelines leaked ‘a few thousand’ barrels of crude oil near Mayflower, Ark., prompting the evacuation of 22 homes and reinforcing concerns many critics have raised about the Keystone XL pipeline that is still awaiting approval from the State Department.”

Of course, “a few thousand” barrels of oil to oil giant Exxon is like a few pennies to me, a penny giant — with the exception that, if I leak a few pennies, nobody in Mayflower, Ark., will be evacuated.

Good news — the Sox tack on a run in the seventh, and the Sox bullpen is sailing along.
Great news — the Sox score 3 runs in the ninth, and that’s the ball game: 8-2, good Sox.

Meanwhile, anyone seen any Republicans around lately?


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