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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Sharing too much information will work against you. Let your intuition guide you when dealing with peers, colleagues, or contractual matters. Don't let uncertainty stop you from making a move. Believe in your abilities.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The favors and assistance you are given will depend on what you're willing to do in return. You can set up a workable relationship with someone looking to master the same market. Romance is highlighted.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You may think you have everything under control, but unexpected situations will develop, leading to all sorts of emotional issues and alterations that must be dealt with swiftly yet moderately. Don't over-share.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don't let negativity take over. Recognize what you have, and move in the direction that suits you best. There is so much you can gain by interacting with the right people. Your life is on an upswing. Take advantage of whatever comes your way.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Bide your time. If you are too efficient, you will be given tasks that will slow down your progress. A lifestyle change will lead to an unusual but rewarding way to spend your time.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Work on important partnerships. You have plenty to gain if you nurture and share a relationship with someone accepting of your goals and willing to help you progress. Love is in the stars, and spending time with someone special will pay off.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Take care of any business you have with banks, government, medical, or legal institutions, and you will avoid a mishap that could set you back. Open, honest discussions will help you prove your point and persuade others to help you reach your goals.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Let your intuition guide you in your personal and professional dealings. When it comes to partnerships, you can gain through the people you associate with. A unique approach to how you run your home will make a difference.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Expect to face negativity and setbacks if you try to hide information from someone you have to deal with. Problems with friends, family, and people in your community will cause unexpected changes in your status.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Keep moving forward. You'll have the ability to make significant alterations to how you earn your living and the people you get to work alongside. There are profits to be made. Love is highlighted.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Read the fine print before you agree to something. Not everyone will have your best interests in mind. Ulterior motives can cause you to make an emotional mistake that can cost you personally and financially. Question discrepancies.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Discuss your thoughts and emotions with someone you care for. You have to be on the same page if you plan on moving in a positive direction. Equality will make the difference in any personal or business partnership you form.

How to Survive a Weasel Attack:

• First, find and provoke a weasel. The easiest way to find a weasel is MySpace. The easiest way to provoke a weasel is a misleading profile pic.

• Confirm that you are being attacked by a weasel and not a wolverine. The easiest way to tell the difference is that weasels often have Biblical first names, such as "Lazarus" or "Zerahiah," whereas wolverines often bite out your voice box to stop you from screaming.

• Do NOT insult the weasel's mother. While this is an arguably effective tactic for gaining the upper hand, it's not cool, dude. Not cool.

• Tell the weasel you will punch it with your right fist, but instead punch it with your left — weasels always fall for that one.

• Posit to the weasel that Riemannian manifolds might better be expressed in terms of Lagrangian — rather than Hamiltonian — mechanics. While the weasel is busy formulating a response, kick it in the balls. (All weasels have balls/are hermaphrodites.)

• While the weasel is incapacitated, plunge the Spear of Longinus directly into its heart, for that is the only known way to banish a weasel. (Did I not mention you needed to have researched, found, and unearthed the Spear of Longinus? Oh well, pretend I said that first.)

• Savor your victory; it will be short-lived once the weasel mafia learns of your malfeasance. Be warned: their influence is potent and far-reaching.

Andrew R. Juhl dedicates this Ledge to Sami — because she told him to.

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• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
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Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
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• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn

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