New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don't share personal secrets. Offer an alternative if someone doesn't like the way your work turns out. Being adaptable and versatile will help you find a way to please everyone without going over budget. Romance is highlighted.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Don't rely on someone making impossible promises. A practical outlook will allow you to save time and bypass the inconvenience that will result if you allow someone else to take care of your responsibilities. Take control.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Put greater emphasis on what you can offer and how you can use your skills, talents, and knowledge to your best ability. Someone is likely to withhold information or try to mislead you regarding a job. Don't be pressured into making an unnecessary donation.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Speak up, share your thoughts and ideas, and you will get a warm response from friends, family, and peers. A social or work-related event will bring you in contact with someone who is impressed with what you can do or have to say.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Take care of your domestic responsibilities. What you do for those who count on you may not reward you, but in the end, your kindness and generosity will pay off. Invest in something that will improve your assets and add to your comfort.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Get down to business, and focus on whatever task needs to be done. Avoid interference from anyone by being discreet and secretive. An emotional matter will spin out of control; do your best to stay calm and focused.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Take a short trip if it will lead to knowledge, experience, or the chance to make new friends or meet potential collaborative partners. Love and romance are in the stars.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Stick close to home, and take the time to make your surroundings more comfortable and adaptable to your lifestyle. You don't have to overspend, and you shouldn't let anyone pressure you into something you don't need or want.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Prepare to answer questions and back up your reasons for doing things your way. A problem with a friend, relative, or neighbor will escalate if you aren't prepared to compromise. Prepare to make necessary changes.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Familiar people and places will put you at ease and guide you in a positive direction. Back away from anyone showing signs of instability, excess, or unpredictability. Professional gains can be made by using a little ingenuity.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Put more time and effort into self- and home-improvement projects. Keep the changes you make within budget. Your ability to make something ordinary become trendy will be appreciated. Consider turning one of your ideas into a profitable service or product.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don't exaggerate. You have to stick to the truth and be prepared to define what your motives are. Try to keep your conversations simple and your plans moderate. You can make headway, but dedication and thriftiness will be required.

Do you know why I pulled you over?

• Because you couldn't get into a real college?

• Because I stopped for doughnuts on my way to work two weeks ago and you can still smell it on me?

• No. And if you don't, either, then I'll be on my way.

• Because I let you.

• My guess is you have a very small penis, sir.

• I didn't wrap the bodies well enough and there's blood dripping from my back bumper?

• Technically, I chose to conform to traffic regulations in response to observing your police lights behind me. You didn't actually "make" me. You ain't like a Jedi or anything.

• I'm guessing you haven't met your quota yet? Oh, I'm sorry, that's probably a big word for you. Um … Because you haven't no-no'd enough vroom-vrooms?

• I guess that depends on how long you were following me.

• Because you've always wanted to see what this was like with a white person?

• No, do you know why I'm pulling away?

• So we can trade jerseys like at the end of a soccer match?

• Because we live in a glorious country where your testimony holds more weight than my own?

• Oooooooo, is this a GAME?!?

Andrew R. Juhl thanks Nate, Erik, Brian, David, Scott, Sandy, and others for contributing to today's Ledge.

>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn

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