|
New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): Get back to ideas and goals you have left undone. Exploring new ways to approach and execute your plans will lead to something extraordinary. Someone you’ve worked with in the past will help you now. Show off what you have to offer.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Offer help, but don’t allow someone who has taken advantage of you in the past to do so again. Make suggestions, but focus more on doing what will get you ahead, not someone else. Let your intuition be your guide.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Avoid a dispute regardless of the circumstances. Someone will spread a rumor that can damage your reputation or hurt you professionally. You are best to keep your personal life private. Responsible action will help you avoid criticism and ridicule.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Talk to the person in power, and you will find a way to get your ideas heard. Picking up information, skills, or experience will lead to a better position or a new endeavor.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Stabilizing your finances is a must. You can make home improvements as long as you stick to your budget. Don’t donate or bail out someone else’s debt. Protect your assets, and focus on the changes you can make to secure a better future.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Easy does it. Don’t take on more than you can handle — you will make yourself look bad. You must keep your emotions in check and not allow anyone to bait you into a challenge or disagreement that will deter you from getting ahead.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Explore new avenues or revisit familiar places, people, or plans. Listen to what others have to offer, and you’ll find a way to make what you are working toward even better. Love is in the stars, and socializing could lead to romance.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Improve your surroundings. Make alterations that will improve your lifestyle. Find entertainment that is cost-efficient, and invite the people you enjoy spending time with to join you. Develop a creative idea.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Ulterior motives are present, and exaggeration will lead you down the wrong path. Keep your thoughts to yourself, stick close to home, and do whatever you can to improve your domestic situation.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to make an impulsive decision. Take control, state what it is you want, and make it happen. Use past experience as a reference.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Put greater emphasis on doing and being the best that you can be. The more you do to improve, the more confidence you will have dealing with future prospects. A move or change at home will help. Love is highlighted.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Avoid problems with friends, relatives, or neighbors. Stick to the rules, and don’t push your luck when dealing with authority figures. Preparation will be the key to proving your point and getting what you want. Honesty is crucial.



Andrew R. Juhl, Professor of Letters:

• Dear U.S. Postal Service: “Entropy” is defined as the degree of disorder in a system, and it is the natural tendency of all things to increase in entropy toward chaos. While I appreciate your endeavor to assist entropy along its merry way by “misplacing” every fourth utility bill I’m supposed to receive, I have faith that the universe will eventually fall into chaos without you. Now, where’s my water bill?

• Dear Text Messaging on My Cell Phone: Do you have some sort of Breathalyzer-ignition feature available? Perhaps you could make me solve a semi-complicated algebraic equation before allowing me to send texts after midnight?

• Dear Nice Lady Who Waited Behind Me in the Hy-Vee Express Checkout Lane: Yeah, that was me. I know how horrible it was, and I know that I pointed to the old guy in the wheelchair in front of us and said it must be him, but it was really me. Sorry. If it matters, I had to buy new pants.

• Dear TSA: I respect you have a job to do, but please allow me the small luxury of toiletries in an overnight bag. Even if I were a terrorist, what harm could I possibly engender with a stick of Degree roll-on antiperspirant? It’s not like I buy it by the pound because I’m cheap, I buy it by the pound because I need it by the pound. And because I’m cheap. And because it makes a handy hijacking weapon. Perhaps I’ve said too much.

• Dear Universe: C’mon! Pick on someone your own size!

Andrew R. Juhl recently discovered that a “Breathalyzer-ignition feature” actually exists in Gmail called Google Mail Goggles. He (now) highly recommends it.






>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn


In today's issue:





 
Privacy Policy (8/15/07) | Terms of Use (4/28/08) | Content Submission Agreement (8/23/07) | Copyright Compliance Policy (8/25/07) | RSS Terms of Use

Copyright © The Daily Iowan, All Rights Reserved.