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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don't share personal information. Someone is likely to meddle in your affairs, leading to a sticky situation. Emotions will be difficult to control, so focus on practical matters that revolve around making your money work better for you.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You'll be torn between beliefs and what your peers think or do. Follow your heart, and stick to what works best for you. Graciously refuse to take part in something that doesn't feel right.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You'll be taken advantage of if you share your ideas or show others how to do things. Protect your assets and your plans. You are in a high cycle regarding love, but avoid getting involved with someone if it could affect your job.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Acting on impulse will lead to trouble. Gauge your time, and focus on getting things done that will satisfy your creative needs. Working with someone who shares your thoughts and interests will help you excel. Control your emotions.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You'll make personal gains if you indulge in a physical challenge that inspires, motivates, and stimulates you. Trying something new could lead to reconnecting with someone from your past. Take care of personal business, then move on.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Take a different approach when dealing with business or personal partners. Showing how adaptable or diverse you can be will help you proceed in the future. Keep your plans simple.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Take a moment to engage in talks with family, friends, or your lover regarding your domestic situation and your geographical location. Take any opportunity to visit places or areas that are appealing and offer potential job prospects.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Networking will pay off. You'll arouse interest in your creative ideas and form alliances with those who are in a position to take advantage of what you have to offer. It's your turn to shine. Step into the spotlight, and dazzle everyone.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You'll have to dodge questions from those trying to catch you off guard. Focus more on home, family, and making your digs as comfortable as possible. Avoid anyone who is excessive or a bad influence on you.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Readdress an idea or service you considered providing in the past, and you will find a practical way to move forward with your plans. Don't let someone's enthusiasm lead you to take action prematurely.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You've got added discipline, so make it work for you. Whether you want to lose weight, learn something new, or focus on self-improvement, this is a great day to plan your strategy and start the process. Love and romance are highlighted.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You can make things happen if you push others to complete contracts or settlements that have been pending. It's a good day to make suggestions that will affect your financial situation. Serious talks will bring superb results. Take action.



BETTER Horoscopes:

• PISCES: If you see a Pogo Stick on Craigslist today, you damn well buy it.

• ARIES: Keep your friends close and your chocolate closer. And maybe a gun in the glove compartment.

• TAURUS: It's time to give up the ghost and take down that holiday mistletoe; your dog is never licking your face again, and you just have to accept that.

• GEMINI: Today, you will learn that the man you thought was your father is actually the mailbox.

• CANCER: Skip ahead three horoscopes.

• LEO: Today is a black-socks sort of day. Black socks and no underwear. Yeah. Mmmm.

• VIRGO: TV's Alan Thicke will attempt to make a cameo in your daydreams today. DO NOT let him speak; SAG has revoked his membership in the United States, and you would be abetting a crime.

• LIBRA: Lose a turn.

• SCORPIO: One of the M&Ms at Las Vegas' M&Ms World has been poisoned. Only you will know which one. But can you make it there in time? CAN YOU?

• SAGITTARIUS: March Madness Tip: Gonzaga's going all the way. Count it.

• CAPRICORN: Cheeky denim cutoffs are the new office casual, Trendsetter.

• AQUARIUS: Today, you will meet someone with a large birthmark on her or his face. Be nice; he or she may hold the key to your future happiness. And a birthmarked-face life is probably hard enough without you being the type of prick you normally are.

Andrew R. Juhl knows these are accurate; his horoscope told him so.






>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn


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