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New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): Take note of, and discover greater interest, in what everyone else is doing. You will learn from what you see, giving you the edge when it comes to your own projects. Move forward cautiously if someone wants to partner with you. Know your boundaries.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You can make everyone take notice with your actions. Find a way to improve a situation or a project, and you will be given more responsibility. Protect your health and your position from someone jealous of what you have personally or professionally.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Temptation is the enemy. You may feel the need to make changes, but you are best to sit tight until your thinking is clear. Do your best to add to your skills, knowledge, and anything else that will enhance your résumé.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Learning, travel, and getting together with people you find interesting should be your focus. A closer look at your financial situation will lead to an idea that can help you collect on an old debt or turn a loss into a gain.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You'll thrive on adventure and excitement. Making changes that will lead to professional opportunity should be your intent. A geographical change will enhance what you do and improve your prospects. Love is highlighted.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Reassess your relationships, and you will come up with some interesting thoughts and decisions as to how you should move forward. Distance yourself from those who offer nothing in return, leaving more time to nurture meaningful partnerships.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Put home and family first. Loved ones will need your help, but in the end, what you gain from the experience will be worthwhile. Playtime with the ones you care most about will bring you closer together. A lifestyle change looks appealing.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Your actions may be misconstrued. Explain what you are trying to do, and you will get far more support. Make unusual alterations to your residence, and you will establish a position among friends and family that carries more clout.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Choose your words wisely, and avoid letting someone disrupt your plans. Stick close to home and to your lover. Overindulgence must be avoided.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Emotions will cloud your view. Step back; collect your thoughts. Use the outcome of similar situations you have faced, and you will find a way to get past anyone acting erratic. Don't make promises, but don't rule out offering help.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Limitations are apparent if you have not stuck to the rules and regulations. Consider the changes you can make to improve your life and your relationships with the people you love.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Too much of anything will lead to trouble. Keep a low profile, and focus on making headway financially. Secure your position by networking with people able to contribute to your plans. Health issues must be taken care of quickly.



Lessons learned from a lifetime of watching movies:

• Windshields are made from a substance called "safety glass." When shot, safety glass will do one of two things: (1) shift the direction of the projectile away from the head of the hero or (2) shift the direction of the projectile into the head of a bad guy. But, hey, you gotta get places, which is why bad guys still drive so often.

• All cars can be stolen because all cars can be hot-wired. Even some cars made in the future can be hot-wired. Hot-wiring a car involves putting two random wires together until they stop sparking and finally turn over the engine. These wires are easy to access, as well as easy to strip and cut.

• Stolen cars always have a few hours' worth of gas in them, because people who leave their vehicles in easy-to-steal locations are nothing if not thoughtful.

• Anything short of an explosion will not total a car. Most makes and models, even if in ill-repair, will remain drivable after three to four collisions, sideswipes, and/or fruit stands.

• Driving through sidewalk cafés, down alleyways cluttered with old trash, up and over cement staircases, and through panes of glass will not harm a car's tires or undercarriage in any way. The notable exception is the fuel tank, which by design must be as exposed as possible to the road, with walls no thicker than a few millimeters. Puncturing a fuel tank will cause an explosion the moment the slightest spark or flame (or, for some reason, bullet) comes in contact with the gushing, highly pressurized stream of gasoline.

Andrew R. Juhl paved paradise and learned to drive in a parking lot.






>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn


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