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New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): Weigh the pros and cons, and make a decision. The sooner you focus on what’s most important to you, the sooner advancement will come your way. Don’t labor over the little things.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Talk will get you nowhere, but creative alternatives and action will show how serious you are about getting things done. Don’t hold back physically. Size up your situation, and make things happen. Love is on the rise.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Concentrate on whatever it takes that will get you ahead professionally. You will come up with innovative ideas that will help you stand out. Don’t limit your possibilities. Believe in your ability to reach whatever destination you set.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don’t let your emotions take over and ruin your plans. You have to separate your feelings from what needs to be done and get on with your day. By showing responsibility, you will win favors in the end. Romance is on the rise.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You’ll face opposition from your peers or superiors. Think about what you have going for you before looking for something or someone new. Don’t overload your to-do list, leaving little time to think matters through. Honesty is the best policy.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You deserve a break. You can go through the motions and achieve little, or you can enjoy the company of a friend or lover. Plan a day at the spa or go shopping. Most of all, do your best to alleviate stress.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Don’t trust someone else to take care of your responsibilities. You have to finish what you start and answer questions in order to clear the passage ahead, allowing you to follow your dreams, hopes, and wishes for the future.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Travel for business or pleasure. Love is in the stars, and enjoying the company of those who spark your imagination or get you thinking about future possibilities will lead to unique and wonderful changes in the way you live your life.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You have some good ideas regarding your financial situation. However, make sure that you calculate accurately before you proceed. You are likely to be misinformed by someone wanting you to overspend or overindulge; moderation will be the key to your success.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Discuss your plans with anyone subject to being influenced by the decisions you make. As long as you cover any responsibilities you have toward others, you will not face opposition. A couple of unexpected alterations will unfold. Prepare to adjust your plans.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Speak up. You must share your opinions and plans if you want to be included. Don’t give in too readily to someone eager to take over or ladle added responsibilities on you. Put greater emphasis on your home and personal life.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A plan you have may be a moneymaker, but if it has the potential to escalate into something you really can’t afford, you may want to scale back until you have the backing of someone able to offer financial assistance. Love is highlighted.



Olympic Events:

• If typos were an Olympic event, I’d take home both gold and sliver.

• If napping were an Olympic event, I’d probably sleep through the qualifiers.

• If problem drinking were an Olympic event, I’d fall asleep on the couch while watching it on television and then probably piss myself.

• If being a good wingman were an Olympic event, I’d bang the winner’s girlfriend.

• If time management were an Olympic event, I’d probably get to it at some point.

• If complaining were an Olympic event, it would be stupid and boring, and I’m cold.

• If sarcasm were an Olympic event, I’m sooo sure you’d be the best at it.

• If climaxing were an Olympic event, my girlfriend would never finish.

• If haiku were an Olympic event, I guess this would qualify.

• If understanding how sports worked were an Olympic event, I’d have a blue ribbon.

• If bronzing were an Olympic event, I’d have the bronzest gold medal ever.

• If coupon doubling were an Olympic event, I’d have three gold medals.

• If baking were an Olympic event, I’d have a whole bag of Gold Medal.

• If hoarding was an Olympic event, I’d have 29 bronze medals.

• If awesome teenage mutant ninja turtle names were an Olympic event, I’d be Thomas Kinkade.

• If beating a dead horse were an Olympic event, this joke structure would be taking Mjolner to Secretariat.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks all his friends who collaborated on today’s Ledge.






>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn


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