New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Work on personal and professional partnerships. Set up rules, schedules, or whatever else is required to avoid setbacks. Back away from the people dragging you down, and spend more time with the people who can offer you something in return.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Control whatever situation you face. Put a unique touch on whatever you pursue. Revisit old relationships, and consider how you can revitalize a situation that you feel has potential. Love is in the stars, and a commitment or change is apparent.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Do your own thing. Pursue your dreams, hopes, and wishes. Don’t settle for less when you know you can have so much more. Speak up honestly about your needs, and you will weed out the people who are taking advantage of you.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Spend more time with friends, family, or your lover. Personal opportunities will develop if you get involved in an event that interests you. Don’t hold back — you have good ideas that will be well received. Love is highlighted.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Don’t leave room for error. Offer honesty, and you will find out where you stand and what can be accomplished. Problems with your residence or a family member can be expected. You’ll have to implement change if you want to avoid discord.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You’ll gain knowledge by interacting with people in your community. Knowing what is in demand will help you strategically come up with a service you can offer in order to bring in extra cash. Don’t settle for less when you can have more.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Review your past, and you will recognize a pattern you continue to encounter. Set a new standard, and strive to use updated means and methods to accomplish your goals. Don’t argue a losing battle when you should be following your own path.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Take time to turn your home into a stress-free sanctuary. You need to find your comfort zone in order to revitalize your creativity. Love and romance are in the stars. The people you associate with should be those who inspire you the most.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The past will come back to haunt you if you are indulgent emotionally, physically, or financially. Reconsider the partnerships you have and if you are benefiting — or giving up too much. Put more effort into a creative skill that can bring you greater prosperity.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Being a team player will help you with your professional achievements. Getting along and sharing interests with someone you enjoy spending time with will turn into a long-term partnership. Don’t make a radical decision for the wrong reason.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Choose your words carefully. Don’t make a promise you won’t be able to keep. Focus on family and stability. Home will be your safety zone and where you should put your time and effort. A visitor will offer positive feedback and inspiration.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Wheel and deal until you get what you want. Offer a creative plan that will be difficult to ignore. There is money to be made and partnerships to be formed. Don’t feel you must compete or outdo when you just have to follow your heart.

Breaking it to ’em easy:

• Mom says I’m too good for you.

• Sometimes, a person is just what you need, just when you need her. Your time for me is passed, and you’re no longer who or what I need. Right now, I need someone Asian. Got an itch. Gotta scratch it.

• I don’t like the way you kiss. Actually, I don’t like pretty much anything you do with your tongue.

• I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like first? WAIT! — before you answer, the bad news is that I’m breaking up with you, so keep that in mind. Also: There’s no good news. Except for me. Because I’m free! Freeeeeee!

• Guess what you and a mountain of garbage have in common? You’ve both been dumped! Hahahaha! Just kidding. But, no, seriously. Leave.

• I like it better when we were just friends having tons of sex. With other people.

• All I’m saying is that I can’t be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t trust me to be alone in a room with a paid escort.

• I think four years is long enough, don’t you?

• I need more space. That’s why I’m moving to the Moon.

• I think you love me more than I love you. To be fair, you’d have to.

• It’s not me, it’s you. You’re horrible.

• It’s not you, it’s me. I hate you. Because you’re horrible.

Andrew R. Juhl misters you even more than he did yesterday.

>> Click here to submit an event!

• Final Thesis Defense, “Catalytic Mechanisms of Thymidylate Synthase: Bringing Experiments and Computations Together,” Zhen Wang, Chemistry, 8:30 a.m., C10 Pomerantz Center
• Film and discussion, It’s Elementary, College of Education Diversity Committee, noon, 300 Lindquist Center
• Final Thesis Defense, “Chemical, physical, and mechanical properties of nanomaterials and its applications,” Suman Ghorai, Chemistry, noon, W323 Chemistry Building
• “Transformations in the Pharma Industry,” Andrew Dahlem, vice president and COO for Lilly Research Laboratories and LRL Europe, noon, C44-A UIHC General Hospital
• Inorganic Chemistry Seminar, “Metallocenyl-containing Porphyrins and Their Analogues as Prospective Active Components for Molecular Electronics and Photoinduced Electron Transfer,” Victor Nemykin, University of Minnesota-Duluth, 12:30 p.m., W268 Chemistry Building
• Final Thesis Defense, “I. Hydrophobic Nanoporous Silica Particles for Biomedical Applications. II. Novel Approaches to Two Dimensional Correlation Spectroscopy,” Claudiu Brumaru, Chemistry, 2 p.m., W323 Chemistry Building
• Joint Astrophysics/Space Physics Seminar, TBA, Thomas Brantseg, Physics/Astronomy, 3:30 p.m., 309 Van Allen
• Hy-Vee Walking Club, 4 p.m., Hy-Vee, 812 S. First Ave.
• HIV Criminalization Panel Discussion, 5 p.m., Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Resource Center
• Opera Series lecture, La clemenza di tito, Robert Ketterer, Classics and Cinema/Comparative Literature, 5:30 p.m., 2520D University Capitol Center
• Salsa Practice Group, 6:30 p.m., Assembly Room at the Iowa City Senior Center, 28 S. Linn St.
• Spoken Word, 7 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• “Live From Prairie Lights,” Dylan Nice, fiction, 7 p.m., Prairie Lights, 15. S. Dubuque
• Burlington Street Bluegrass Band, 7 p.m., Mill, 120 E. Burlington
• Marjorie Shearer, clarinet, 8 p.m., University Capitol Center Recital Hall
• Jam Session, 9 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn
• Talk Art, 10 p.m., Mill

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