New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Check your finances. An interesting observation based on your past records will help you curb a habit. Shake things up, cut corners where you can, and you will get ahead. Dump deadweight, and you will find your way to victory.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Strive for perfection, and you’ll make a lasting impression. Negotiating a better position or considering a partnership looks promising. Putting time aside for a little romance in the evening hours will enhance your life.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You’ll have choices to make. Head in whatever direction promises to expand your knowledge, brings you the most experience and positions you for future endeavors. Honesty regarding what you have to offer will increase your chance to excel.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Mingle, network, and share your stories and experiences — you will get something in return. Giving a unique spin to a talent or skill you have can help you find a new source of income. A partnership will undergo change. Negotiate and adjust your position.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Personal problems will escalate, causing a setback regarding your professional productivity. Don’t mix business with pleasure, or you’ll put a dent in your reputation. Creative accounting will be necessary. Honesty will help you avoid trouble.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Talks and negotiations will work out well and help send you in a positive direction. Your ability to do things according to plan in a unique and detailed manner will bring you recognition. A partnership will help you excel beyond your expectations.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You will overreact if someone confronts you. Put whatever situation you face in perspective. Rethink your strategy, and focus more on how you can up your income or cut your overhead. Negotiate a deal that will help you handle your money better.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don’t make comparisons when what you should be doing is focusing on your skills, knowledge, and getting ahead. You have more options than you realize. Recognize where you must put your time and effort to advance. Finish what you start.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Your efforts must be directed toward maintaining what you’ve got. Rework an old idea or incorporate something you’ve learned into a plan that needs to be revamped. Stability can be yours, but only if you are willing to make changes.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Jump at any chance you get to mingle with colleagues or to discuss plans you feel will streamline what you’ve been asked to achieve. You will impress higher-ups with your leadership quality and your dedication and relentless drive.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Proceed with caution. Learning something new will not be easy, but it will be necessary. You can bring in more money if you pick up skills that will enable you to offer a service that is in demand in your community.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Learn from experience. Discuss business deals, and negotiate your position. Don’t settle for less when you are capable of moving forward on your own. Love is on the rise, and a personal partnership will be beneficial.

Breaking it to ’em easy:

• I always worried I might break your heart. I guess that’s why it’s called a “self-fulfilling prophecy.” Speaking of self-fulfilling, I’m going to need my, um, “toys” back …

• You know how sometimes we fight and then have great makeup sex? Well, guess what?! I found someone who I don’t need to fight with first! Yea, me!

• You deserve to be treated better than this, and I’m just not ready for that.

• You’ve always reminded me of my next ex.

• We’ll always have the memory of that one special night, even if we never have another morning. Unless you make eggs. I’ll sleep with you again if you make eggs. And bacon. And pancakes.

• Our time together has just become more effort than you’re — no, I mean it’s — no, I do actually mean you’re — worth.

• I feel like we’re ready for the next step in our relationship. I’d like you to come to my next Scientology meeting.

• You’re absolutely perfect. … for someone else.

• In this fall … this is very tough … in this fall, I’m going to take my talents to South Beach and bang people in Miami. I feel like it’s going to give me the best opportunity to bang hot people and to bang hot people for multiple years, and not only just to bang hot people in the regular season or just to bang hot people five days in a row or three days in a row; I want to be able to win the “banging-hot-people championship.” And I feel like I can compete down there.

Andrew R. Juhl misters you.

>> Click here to submit an event!

• Final Thesis Defense, “Advancing Solid-State Near-Infrared Spectroscopy for Clinical Measurements of Glucose and Urea,” Joo Young Choi, Chemistry, 9 a.m., 2390 University Capitol Center
• How to Use Refworks, 10 a.m., Hardin Library
• Pharmacology Postdoctoral Workshop, “The Granulosa Cell Inositol Phosphate Cascade is Essential for Ovulation,” Shawn Breen, 10:30 a.m., 1117 Medical Education & Research Facility
• English Conversation Group, 12:30 p.m., Pomerantz Family Pavilion Melrose Conference Room 6
• Final Thesis Defense, “Polydisulfidediamines: A new synthetic biodegradable polymer,” Tyler Graff, Chemistry, 2 p.m., E203 Chemistry Building
• Biology Ph.D. Thesis Seminar, “Genome-wide analysis of transcription initiation and promoter architecture in eukaryotes,” R. Taylor Raborn, Biology, 3 p.m., 401 Biology Building East
• Microbiology Seminar, “S. aureus biofilms: identifying mechanisms of immune evasion and strategies for therapeutic intervention,” Tammy L. Kielian, University of Nebraska, 3 p.m., Bowen Auditorium 3
• Film Screening/Discussion, We Were Here, 5 p.m., Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Resource Center
• I-Evision Entrepreneurship Meeting, 7:30 p.m., Bedell Entrepreneurial Learning Laboratory
• John Hallberg, saxophone, 7:30 p.m., Trinity Episcopal Church, 320 E. College
• Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia Choral Concert, 7:30 p.m., Riverside Recital Hall

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