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New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): Partnerships will prove to be entertaining, informative and will allow you to develop your ideas to the max and to build a solid base for your future explorations. You should embrace change in both your business and personal lives.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Keep your money and belongings in a safe place. Unnecessary purchases or letting someone guilt you into spending or donating will lead to added stress. Plan your actions carefully and don't stray far from your path.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Put more time and effort into your relationships with people you work with as well as those you live and deal with personally. Emotions will surface if you exaggerate, overreact or overindulge. Love is highlighted, but you must be willing to compromise.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Letting others know what you are up to will lead to interference that you must avoid. A change at home may distract you from what you are supposed to be doing. Rely on someone you trust to finish what you start.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Offer your assistance and you will receive rewards for your efforts. A friend or lover from your past is worth contacting. Looking back can help resolve issues you face now. Don't limit what you can do. Stubbornness will not pay off.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Use charm, diplomacy and your imagination in order to get the results you need to move forward. You can win, but it will only happen if you are compassionate, understanding and willing to compromise. Find a way to please everyone without arguing.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Interact with others and you will learn from your encounters. Build relationships that will be useful to you in the future. A creative approach to the way you do business or what you do for a living will help you get ahead.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Make your home your sanctuary. A creative project will encourage you to follow a dream. Promises will be broken and tempers hot if you don't have your facts and figures straight right from the beginning.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Partnerships are highlighted and must be nurtured and tended to with compassion and the intent to make alterations that will help enhance future dealings. Don't let insecurities lead to mistakes, arguments or deceit.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Do your best to make an impression. Someone you've dealt with in the past will make a proposal that will interest you. Before moving ahead, check the information you've been given. Travel will lead to unexpected setbacks or trouble.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Strategize carefully and you'll make the right choice. Don't let anyone lead you astray with promises that have little substance. Focus on home, family and the people you love. A financial deal or personal investment will prove to be prosperous.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don't let your emotions interfere with money matters. You must take care of business before you take on personal issues that develop between you and a friend, neighbor or colleague. Discipline will be required to avoid loss.



Republicanese:

• “We don’t think government bureaucrats should make your health-care decisions.” = If you’re uninsured, then tough shit.

• “We will make America energy independent.” = Coal soot, nuclear waste, and oil spills won’t kill you … for a while, yet.

• “We believe in family values.” = The more money your family has, the more valuable you are to us.

• “Top earners are the real job creators.” = Those jobs aren’t in America, but they’ve still been created; and that’s really all that matters, right?

• “We have a five-point plan to create 12 million jobs.” = No, really, this time trickledown economics will work!

• “It’s time to take America back.” = It’s time to take America back … to the 19th century!

• “Now, the liberal media would have you believe…” = Now, credible news sources and fact-checkers would have you believe …

• “We believe in peace through strength.” = The Pentagon needs another $2 trillion to buy $600 toilet seats to protect us from the Soviet Union.

• “We are the pro-life party.” = You are very important to us until you are born, in which case we lose interest in you if you are poor, foreign, homosexual, or female. AND NO PELL GRANTS FOR SLACKERS.

• “We’ll really get tough on China.” = We will ask the Commies to please stop news regarding the horrible working conditions in American-owned Chinese factories from leaking to the press.

Duncan Stewart is an illustrious illiterate libertarian librarian. He thanks Andrew R. Juhl for help with today’s Ledge and for not revealing that I attend GOP-Anonymous.






>> Click here to submit an event!

• Preschool Storytime, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Senior Tech Zone, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library
• Teen Tech Zone, 3 p.m., Iowa CityPublic Library
• How to read the Qur’an, 5 p.m., Adler Journalism Building
• Jazz Combo and Latin Jazz Ensemble, 6 p.m., The Mill, 120 East Burlington
• Country Dance Lessons, 6:30 p.m. Wildwood Smokehouse & Saloon, 4919 Walleye Drive
• The Moving Image Among the Arts: Institute for Cinema and Culture, 6:30 p.m., Becker Communication Studies Building Room 101
• "Live from Prairie Lights," Brett Anthony Johnston, 7 p.m., Prairie Lights Bookstore, 15 South Dubuque
• Open Mic, 7 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Au Revoir Taipei, 8 p.m., Bijou
• CAB Film: Paranorman, 8 and 11 p.m., IMU Illinois Room
• Mixology, 9 p.m., Gabe’s. 330 E. Washington
• Yuppies, 9 p.m., Gabe’s
• Jonah Smith, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn
• Student Film Showcase, 10 p.m., Bijou


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