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Elliot: Nude Radio

BY BEAU ELLIOT | OCTOBER 16, 2012 6:30 AM

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Yes, it’s a fun day in this part of the world, listening to radio engineers moving into Duchamp and post-Duchamp radio art. Nude radio descending a stare-case at its best.

(Yes, I know — it’s spelled “staircase.” Bare with me.)

And I know there’s more to life than nudes, though listening to some guys, you wouldn’t necessarily know that. And of course, there’s more to life than radio, even when it’s ESPN radio. (And you thought I only listened to public radio. Silly you.)

But if you want a taste of surrealism in your life (and who doesn’t want that?), you have to tune in now and again to the local ESPN radio station.

I say local, but the station is actually located in Cedar Rapids, which is, of course, a suburb of Iowa City. (It’s where the clever Iowa City officials stuck the airport, more or less.)

The station is KGYM (which you want to say very carefully), and it provides lots of wonderful programming, especially if you want to get away from the Good Ship Mitt and all that entails for the future of this country. Sometimes, you just want to indulge in the narcotic that is American sports and let the future be the future. Which doesn’t exist just yet. (The future tense doesn’t exist anymore for American speakers, which is kind of disappointing. Of course, when you try to talk to Americans about the future tense, they give you a very puzzled look, because they think you’re talking about the future tents.)

The GYM, as the radio guys like to say, also serves up good doses of surrealism, especially late nights on the weekends. And the engineers (OK, I’m assuming they’re engineers) do this with a lot of imagination. They should be congratulated.

They do this by, oh, say, in the late third quarter of a Celtics game last winter, with the score tight and the Celts making a run, cutting into the action with a Cedar Rapids auto dealer’s commercial. This is not to quibble about Cedar Rapids auto dealers, who are important to the future of this country, but when you’re on the edge of your seat, shouting, C’mon Rondo, C’mon Rondo, and worried about the future of the Celtics, you don’t exactly want to be in the midst of an auto commercial.

The GYM engineers also frequently run two different programs at the same time, giving the listener a wonderful experience of total cacophony. You have to admit, you rarely get a chance at total cacophony in this life. (Well, unless you actually listen to presidential debates.)

So here’s to the KGYM engineers for giving us a shot of Duchamp radio. Lord knows we need a break from, oh, say, politics.               

Which brings us to the Mitt.

Could the Good Ship Mitt lie any more?

I thought so, too.

Maybe it’s because Mitt Romney has run so far away, so fast (you’d think that he had once been an Olympic-class sprinter from the way he can run) from his own health-care plan in Massachusetts. You would have thought that Ted Kennedy had created that health-care plan.

I think Ted Kennedy’s much better health-care plan drowned years earlier in the Washington, D.C., Tidal Basin with Wilbur Mills and a “dancer,” but I might be wrong about that. It might have been Wilbur Mills and Colonel Mustard in the library.

Oh, well. Things could be worse, I suppose. We could actually be concerned about future tents.

Me, I’m going to go listen to some more Duchamp radio.


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