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ARIES (March 21-April 19): You don't have to spend to make an impression. Put more detail into the way you look or what you do and you will get the recognition you've been waiting for. An interesting business arrangement will lead to greater profits and opportunities.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Find ways to market what you have to offer. A small business venture on the side will help subsidize the extras you want to indulge in. Love and romance are on the rise. Socializing, traveling and participation will enhance your personal life.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Emotional upset will lead to disagreements or loss. You are best to focus on self-improvements and helping others. Criticism will get blown out of proportion. Overindulgence in any way will cause problems with family, friends or your lover.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Your help will be appreciated. Take unusual measures in order to come up with solutions that will help you veer in a more enjoyable direction. A chance to share your ideas will lead to positive change. Love is highlighted.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Count your pennies and refrain from overspending on something you don't need. Impulse purchases will lead to financial stress. Put your time and energy into making the necessary changes or learning skills that will help you advance. Don't live in the past.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Emotions will surface. Make love, not war. You will bypass making a horrible mistake that can lead to isolation. Compromising and being fun to be with will ensure that you keep the peace and will stabilize your personal life.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Don't procrastinate when there is so much to accomplish. Make changes that lead to greater efficiency at work and at home. Helping others is fine, but not at the expense of what needs to be done in order for you to maintain your lifestyle.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Spread information to the people you feel can be of help to you. Offer your insight to those who have helped you in the past. Let your creative imagination flow in both your personal and professional dealings.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Back away from anyone who is indulgent, pushy or trying to confine you from following your own path. Concentrate on business and making changes to your domestic environment. Less stress will be required if you plan to get ahead.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Look, see and do. Your ability to use what you have to offer to get what you want will lead to victory. Love, contracts and self-improvements should all be on your to-do list. Money can be made if you invest creatively.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Don't let anger cause you to miss out on an opportunity. Responsibilities may seem daunting, but you mustn't forgo doing something you've been looking forward to when organization is all that's required to fit everything into your day. Money is heading your way.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Getting along with others should be your prime concern. Too much stress and impulsive action will slow you down and ruin your chance to get ahead. A financial situation or contract shows great potential for future success.



Overheard at Iowa:

Waitress: Maybe it's just me, but if you have to ask how much it is, you probably shouldn't be ordering shots …
Patron: Maybe it's just me, but if you're a waitress at Chili's, you probably shouldn't judge …
— A good comeback, but only after the food has arrived.

Cambus Boy: Momma, is it true that the world is run by giants who plug it in and make it spin?
Cambus Mom: No. That's ridiculous. Where did you even hear that?
Cambus Boy: I made it up.
— There are worse theories.

"All I'm saying is, is if he could [make love] as well as he makes quesadillas, I'd be a much luckier woman."
— One young woman to her friend while in line at (not surprisingly) Panchero's.

Female Coworker 1: I really don''t understand why everyone thinks you're leading him on.
Female Coworker 2: Well, in all fairness, what they don't know is that I keep finding new ways to rub my boobs on him each day.
— At an unnamed office, and believe me, I tried to find out which one.

Boyfriend: Coldplay used to be called Starfish, but then it changed its name.
Girlfriend: Really? To what?
— Hope nobody tells this Java House cutie about the New Yardbirds.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks the anonymous contributors who originally sent me these quotes for the "Overheard at Iowa" Facebook group.









>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m. and 1:30 p.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 N. Linn St.
• Facebook Workshop, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City/Johnson County Senior Center, 28 S. Linn St.
• Exploring Majors Fair, 12:30 p.m., Main Lounge of the IMU
• Chess Group, 1:00 p.m., Uptown Bill's, 730 S. Dubuque St.
• How to Enhance and Protect Your Wealth: Estate Planning in 2012, 2:00 pm., St. Patrick's Catholic Church Social Hall, 4330 St. Patrick's Drive
• Johnson County Landmark Jazz Band w/ Damani Phillips, 5:30 p.m., The Mill, 120 E. Burlington St.
• Knitting Nurse, 2:00 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn St.
• IWP Reading, 5:00 p.m., Shambaugh House
• Close Encounters of the Third Kind, 6:00 p.m., Upper City Park, 200 E. Park Rd.
• Manning Up, 7:30 p.m., Riverside Theatre, 213 N. Gilbert St.
• Lady M, 8:00 P.M. David Thayer Theatre, Theatre Building
• Samuel Locke Ward Double Album Release Party, 9:00 p.m., Gabe's


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