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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Details will speak volumes about the work you produce. It's the little extras that will make a difference when dealing with peers and loved ones. You don't have to spend to make a difference; you just have to contribute time and your expertise.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Take part in an activity that allows you to show off. What you do to help others will separate you from the crowd and bring you recognition that will help stimulate what you plan to do in the future. Love is accentuated.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Don't try to pacify someone for the wrong reason. Ulterior motives are evident, and no matter what the outcome is, it will be difficult to justify how the situation unfolds. Be honest about your intentions so you don't have any regrets.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Share information, and you will discover new ways to improve your attributes. Relationships with friends, family, and peers will be enhanced by the events and activities you enjoy together. Love is in the stars, and socializing will help expand your interests and your relationships.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You'll have a lot to deal with at home. Don't let responsibilities stop you from doing your own thing. Organize your time wisely. Refuse to let anyone make you feel guilty for wanting a little time to explore your own interests.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Do what needs to be done, and move on. Don't waste time with people or projects that have nothing to contribute to your future. Socialize with someone who interests you personally or professionally, and you will discover options you didn't know existed.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Reflect on your past relationships in order to avoid making a similar mistake. You are best to secure your position by being blunt about what you want and what you can offer. Expand your circle of friends and your interests.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Your timing is right, so present and promote what you have to offer. You'll grab the attention of someone who needs your services or has a diverse interest in your business that can lead to greater earning potential.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Take better care of your health and wellness. Minor mishaps or overdoing it will set you back physically. Make changes at home that will add to your comfort and ease your stress. A partnership must be monitored and excess avoided.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Take part in industry or community events, and you will make an interesting contact who can help you out. Love is on the rise. Putting extra effort into your personal relationships and contracts will pay off financially.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Balance, moderation, and patience will be required. You will attract interest and money — and also underhanded individuals trying to take advantage of you. Stick close to home, and perfect what you are working on before sharing your plans.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You've got plenty to look forward to, so don't lose out because of indulgence or overreacting. Listen carefully, and you will gain insight into how you can get ahead. Financial and emotional opportunities can be yours with the right gestures.

Notes to Self:

• Your bowel movements are getting to the point that you're considering hiring a midwife. Maybe it's time to eat more fiber, Andrew.

• Next time you take a sick day to play hooky, wear sun block.

• When a student in class asks you, the TA, if you have a sec, never reply that you "have a lot of secs."

• If your suit pants are a bit too snug the day before Sexy Dressy Date Night, then running 10 miles and doing 500 crunches is not the solution … unless being so in pain that you don't even want to think about sex sounds like a fun date.

• When you are drinking coffee at the park, next to a group of playing children, and are asked "Which one is yours?" by an attractive single mother, the correct answer is not: "I haven't decided yet."

• The next time your gorgeous girlfriend asks you to call her dirty names during sex, "Fatso" is off the table.

• It is possible for your tubby cat to walk over the TV remote and accidentally press the correct sequence of buttons to order hard-core PPV pornography in the time it takes you to make a grilled cheese sandwich.

• Buy the cat the good treats next time you're at the store.

• When typing "treatments for anal warts" into Google, make sure you actually have Google open and are not absentmindedly updating your Facebook status. Also: just go to Student Health already.

Andrew R. Juhl was born in the USA before he French kissed a Maid in China.

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• Preschool Story Time, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 N. Linn
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• Lady M, Main Stage Series, 8 p.m., Theater Building Thayer Theater
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• Free Soul Dance Party, 10 p.m., Gabe's

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