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New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): Take control; make changes. Discussing your plans with your peers or boss will help you get a better perspective on how you can take a step in a direction that allows you to use your skills more efficiently and profitably. Expand your interests.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Do your best to help others. A relationship with someone from a different background or with an unusual past will develop. Don't be too quick to agree to partner with someone without having all the facts and figures worked out beforehand.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Don't exaggerate or make promises you cannot keep. Someone will be looking for an excuse to make you look bad. Stick to what you know and do best, and don't presume to be something you are not. Abide by the rules.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Take an interest in a hobby, activity or event that will introduce you to a different way of doing things or people who are different from you. Love is in the stars. Partnerships will enhance your life. Strive for perfection.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Limitations and frustrations due to older or younger family members or a lack of funds will cause stress. You need to change your surroundings or do something different in order to get a new perspective on your life and what you want.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Focus and take care of your responsibilities. What you accomplish will impress someone who can help you advance and help you get revenge regarding someone who has done you an injustice in the past. Discipline and moderation will be required.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Readjust your way of thinking regarding your past, present and future prospects. You may need to change the way you do things in order to benefit the most from what you have to offer. Learn from your past in order to make better choices.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Creativity will be the key to your emotional wellness. Don't waste time on jealousy when you are capable of doing your own thing and doing it well. Spending quality time with someone who shares your interests will enhance your relationship.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Exploring different places, interests or people who are a little bit eccentric will help open up ideas that can lead to your own spiritual or philosophic growth. Don't let an insecure friend or lover lead you in the wrong direction.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Focus on your finances and invest in your talents, skills and ideas. Conversations with people you respect or who work in a similar industry will help you expand your plans and raise issues you may not have considered in the past.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Spend time taking care of your interests. Expect others to meddle in your affairs if you are too open about your plans. Put more emphasis on home, family and how you can utilize your space to increase your income or lower your overhead.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Contracts, money, legal or medical matters can all be taken care of with confidence. Your discipline will impress others and entice a partnership that will help you get an endeavor up and running. A promise can be made.



15 Ways My Girlfriend is Like Crack:

• She's the first thing I think of when I wake up.

• She makes my heart race.

• She makes me feel like I can take on anything. Anything.

• Sometimes, she keeps me up all night and makes me sleep all day.

• Wherever she is, a spoon and a lighter are likely also nearby.

• Ever since she came into my life, it's been harder and harder to get to the gym.

• The first time I had her, it was on a street corner and didn't cost me a dime.

• Since then, she's gotten really expensive.

• I like to sneak her into movies and do her in the bathroom before the show starts.

• She's not as pure as originally advertised.

• Because I've been spending an inordinate amount of time on her, my grades and work performance are noticeably slipping.

• I like her, man, but not enough to go to jail for her.

• Because of her, I'm no longer allowed to donate blood or plasma.

• I'm pretty sure my father did her at least once, but he won't admit it.

• I don't think I'll be able to give her up unless I start doing heroin.

Andrew R. Juhl swears he's never really done crac — SPIDERS! GET 'EM OFF ME!!









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• Life in Iowa Career Series, Job- and Internship-Search Strategies, 9 a.m.-5 p.m., 1117 University Capitol Center
• Preschool Story Time, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Leadership Development Series, noon, 337 IMU
• Inorganic Chemistry Seminar, “Synthesis, Structure, and Characterization of Actinide Silicates,” Joshua de Groot, Chemistry, 12:30 p.m., W323 Chemistry Building
• Chess & Scrabble Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730  S. Dubuque
• Grow and Promote your Business with Google, Small Business Development Center, 1-3 p.m., BioVentures Center Multipurpose Room, 2500 Crosspark Road, Coralville
• Iowa City Music Study Club, 1 p.m., Parkview Church, 15 Foster Road
• Medicare Open Enrollment Plan Review, 2:30 p.m., Senior Center, 28 S. Linn
• Staff Council Meeting, 2:30 p.m., Old Capitol Senate Chamber
• Joint Astrophysics/Space Physics Seminar, “The Cause of the High Temperature of Coronae of ZAMS Stars,” Jack Scudder, Physics/Astronomy, 3:30 p.m., 309 Van Allen
• Reading for Success, Study, Workshops, & Tutoring Program and University Counseling Service, 3:30 p.m., 14 Schaeffer
• Hy-Vee Walking Club, 4 p.m., Hy-Vee, 812 S. First Ave
• Backyard Abundance Educational Sessions, 5 p.m., Chauncey Swan Park
• Farmers’ Market, 5 p.m., Chauncey Swan parking ramp
• Confucius Institute Calligraphy Class, 5:30 p.m., 2520C, University Capitol Center
• Met Opera Lecture Series, Verdi’s Otello,  5:30 p.m., University Capitol Center
• Gray Knights Chess Club, 6:30 p.m., Senior Center
• Salsa Practice Group, 6:30 p.m., Senior Center
• An Evening of Experimental Documentary with Jane Gillooly, 7 p.m., IMU
• They Call it Myanmar, 7 p.m., Bijou
• Immigration Film Series, 7 p.m., Unitarian Universalist Society of Iowa City, 10 S. Gilbert
• “Live from Prairie Lights,” Mary Swander, drama, 7 p.m., Prairie Lights, 15 S. Dubuque
• Spoken Word, 7 p.m., Uptown Bill’s
• Shelter House Presents Question Your Assumptions, 7:30 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Swing Jam Session, 7:30 p.m., Wesley Center, 120 N. Dubuque
• Alps, 9 p.m., IMU
• Jam Session, 9 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn
• Talk Art, 10 p.m., Mill, 120 E. Burlington





 
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