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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Your ambition may bother the people around you. Find a quiet spot where you can work diligently and stay out of the way, or take your interests and head out to places where you will encounter people who share your concerns.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Share your thoughts, but be open for suggestions. Much can be accomplished if you don't allow emotional discord to stand in your way. A partnership may disappoint you if you are heading in different directions. You must fulfill your creative dreams.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Expect to have problems with a colleague. Take time out to enjoy someone's company who isn't judgmental and wants to explore activities that you find more fun. Moneymaking and friendship will lead to trouble.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don't be a martyr. Taking on responsibilities will leave you depressed and tired. Delegate work to others so everyone can have a balance between hard work and play. Don't let a pushy client or colleague cause you to make an impulsive move.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): A financial gain is risky but possible. Be fearless, and time your moves precisely. Putting pressure on others will not work. You will have to take care of business on your own. In the end, you will reap what you sow.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Focus on you and what you want, but don't overspend to do so. You can make money if you pursue your own business. Take a chance if it will allow you to show what you have to offer. Exude confidence.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Look over your personal papers, and consider your options. You need to clear up loose ends contractually, legally, or financially before you can make your next move. Travel or research will expand your knowledge and philosophic outlook.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Keep your emotions well-hidden. Not everyone is trustworthy, and ulterior motives are likely to come into play in business dealings. Stick close to home, and focus on developing what you do best. A service you have to offer will flourish.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Stick to the rules. Exaggeration will lead to sorrow. Make positive changes at home that will help you expand your interests personally and professionally. Mishaps and injuries are apparent if you aren't careful. Avoid disagreements. Make love, not war.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Opportunities to make money may interfere with your plans. You are likely to disappoint friends and relatives. Organize outings that will be fun for everyone. You may feel obliged to help an outsider, but remember: Charity begins at home.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Listen to advice being offered, but do your own research. You know what you are capable of doing and what you can afford. A change at home will do you good. Avoid anyone putting pressure on you by using emotional guilt tactics.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You will enjoy get-togethers and activities. A relationship with someone will change, creating the necessity to alter your life or plans for the future. Emotional blackmail will help you get what you want initially, but not long-term.





If I wasn't so lazy I'd write a Ledge …

• … mercilessly mocking my hapless fellow Ledge authors for scribbling lame Ledges about writing the Ledge.

• … derisively dismissing the 47 percent of losers who victimize themselves by reading the Ledge every day.

• … about all of the unusual things that have gone into, and subsequently come out of, my dog.

• … regarding how friggin' hard to write a totally witchin' Ledge without using any real dang swear words.

• … threatening an explosive exposé about Coralville's sin-drenched hedonistic underbelly, unless it agrees to quash all of my library fines.

• … hinting that I will defect to the *Press-Citizen* unless I get a key to the luxurious Ledge executive washroom.

• … addressing my alleged penchant for hunting and eating endangered exotic animals.

• … about how I successfully conceal the fact that I write for the Ledge from my wife, friends, and coworkers ("Duncan Stewart" is a pseudonym; my real name is Stewart Duncan (suckahs).

• … illustrating all the funny sounding foreign words I know, like "fahrt" ("goes" in German), "phoque" ("seal" in French), and "pisat" ("to write" in Russian).

• … arguing forcefully that the next Ledge Christmas Party should feature strippers, an open bar, and vegan dinner options. Last year there were no vegan dinner options.

• … rapping about how a cool hipster like me keeps tuned into all the groovy things that neat-o young folks are doing right here on Spaceship Earth, man.

Duncan Stewart thanks Ange and Molly T. for inspiration, and emphasizes that he really does care about 100 percent of all Ledge readers.

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