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New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): Your work will be rewarding. Getting along with your colleagues and meeting new people will help you develop new prospects. Don't feel you have to spend to impress. Let your ideas buy you entry into conversations and future projects.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Ask, if you are uncertain about what's expected of you. Don't let an emotional situation interfere with what you are supposed to be working toward. Use your past experience and colleagues to help you do a stellar job now.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Don't let anyone mislead you. Follow your instincts and grab hold of an opportunity that will help you advance socially, personally or professionally. Love is on the rise, and enjoying the company of someone you share interests with will pay off.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Wager the pros and cons of any situation before you decide to take part. Physical activity will be gratifying; however, mental pursuits are likely to challenge and defeat you. Know your boundaries and stick to what you know best.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Don't get annoyed with what others do or say. Take action and make a difference. You will gain respect and admiration for your courage and no-nonsense approach to dealing with adversity. Use brain over brawn and celebrate your victory.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Keep your life simple. Too much of anything will work against you. Focus on using your skills to the fullest in order to do as much of the work required on your own. A problem will develop if you get involved in a joint venture.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Take a moment to make home improvements. The time spent researching your plans will pay off in terms of cost and efficiency. Change can be good as long as it is structured properly. Romance will develop if you send the right signal.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don't let emotions stand in your way. Make changes at home that will help you explore new creative venues. You can save money if you use what you already have instead of buying something new. Use common sense and you will excel.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Stick to your game plan and you will show stamina, strength and consistency. Good luck is in your corner with regard to work and domestic deals. Travel and romance will go hand in hand. A little romance will bring you high returns.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Misinterpretation or a lack of understanding regarding information necessary to do what's requested will hurt your reputation. Ask questions, but do so diplomatically in order to avoid a negative response. Delays while traveling can be expected.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Show your appreciation to those you deal with contractually, financially, legally or medically and you will receive extra attention. Greater opportunities and friendships will develop if you are social and sincere.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Keep your life and your relationships simple and honest. Take better care of your health and wellness. Mishaps can turn out to be costly. Follow your intuition; it won't lead you astray.

 

 

 

 


General and unsolicited advice:

· If you're gonna cut holes in a painting to creepily or lustfully (or both) spy on your houseguests, always choose a portrait, never a landscape.

· "In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule."—My Teddy Bear

· When comparison shopping, always go to stores being picketed with signs ascribing "UNFAIR WAGES" or "WE NEED BETTER INSURANCE". That store is passing the savings on to YOU!

· Next time you're at IHOP or Perkin's or—god help you—Denny's and see any form of law enforcement officer, feel free to say as loudly as possible that you can smell bacon. Because you can.

· Whenever somebody asks you and indignant question (for example, "Did you really eat that entire Stuffed Crust Pepperoni Lover's pizza by yourself in a single sitting, Andrew?"), you can usually eschew their ire with this simple reply: "Yes. AS THE PROPHECIES FORETOLD!"

· Changing the word "heart" to "fart" is the easiest way to cheer yourself up on a bad day or make a small child laugh. Go ahead. Try it. I'll wait. … … See?

· One pump of hand sanitizer sanitizes hands. Two pumps of hand sanitizer sanitizes hands and the upper thighs of your jeans.

· Urban Outfitters is nothing more than a thrift store where all the clothes cost way too much. Just go to a thrift store, hippy. They're less likely to care about that can of PBR, anyway.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks Brian Tanner and Jayne Sanderson for help with today's Ledge.













 
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