Elliot: Film & superstitions


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So, an anti-Muslim film made in the United States is roiling parts of the Muslim world, sparking protest after protest in North Africa and the Middle East.

Yeah, I know — everybody’s a film critic.

Of course, in this case, as I understand it, the film portrays the Prophet Muhammad as a depraved, raving, drunken, womanizing lunatic, so you can see why people, Muslims and non-Muslims, might get upset. Irate, even.

Of course (not to repeat those words or anything), films often portray the Irish as depraved, raving, drunken, womanizing lunatics, and you don’t see us rioting. You’re more likely to see us head to a bar to have a drink and look around for a female (of age) to womanize.

Actually, from what I understand, next to no one has seen the film. There was one screening in Southern California, NPR reported, that 20 or 30 people attended.

Most people have seen a 14-minute trailer on YouTube. And being veterans of movie trailers (which, I know, sounds like a curse), there has never been a movie in human history, going back to the Sumerians (who invented cuneiform writing, movies, and beer), that lived up to its trailer.

So get a grip, Muslims. People, such as me, criticize religions, all religions; I believe they’re all superstitions: Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, animism, Marxism, Leninism, Ron Paulism, Chicago Cubs-ism — the followers all devoutly believe in something that doesn’t exist.

(Well, OK, Cubs-ism might actually be Cubism. That’s the way they play baseball, anyway.)

And, in any case, um — the maker of the controversial film turns out to be an Egyptian. A Coptic Christian sort of Egyptian.

After the tragic deaths of four American diplomats in Benghazi, Libya, which seemingly had less to do with the protests there and more to do with an attack on the American Consulate by the militant group Ansar al-Sharia, Mitt Romney apparently felt the need to jump in, both feet firmly in mouth (that’s the manly way to do it) and blame President Obama.

(The way the campaign is going, pretty soon the Good Ship Mitt will start blaming Obama for the drought, cloudy skies, and the weather in general. Which he will confuse with climate, but then, so many do.)

In his own words, Romney said this (transcript from the New York Times):

“They clearly — they clearly sent mixed messages to the world. And — and the statement came from the administration — and the Embassy is the administration — the statement that came from the administration was a — was a statement which is akin to apology, and I think was a — a — a severe miscalculation.”

Um, yeah. Let’s see; you have four U.S. diplomats slain, attacks on American facilities across the region, and your first instinct is to try to find some political advantage.

Yeah. That’s presidential timber.

You can ask, What was Romney thinking? And I could answer, Romney? Thinking?

But that, of course, would be denigrating the man in the same manner he denigrates Obama. So I won’t go there.

I’d rather think about that Argentine German shepherd that has been guarding the grave of his owner for six years. Now, that’s presidential timber. Well, except that it’s a dog.

But I can see the Good Ship Mitt strapping the Argentine German shepherd to the top of his SUV and driving off into the Pampas.

Just because it’s so much fun to have a sentence that includes  the Good Ship Mitt with the word Pampas.

Sometimes, life works out just right. Without irony.

Not that the Good Ship Mitt indulges in irony.

At least not intentionally.

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