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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Take your time, and don't force issues. Ulterior motives are apparent. Ask questions, and consider all your options before making a decision that will have a long-lasting influence. Focus on self-motivation. Love is highlighted.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Listen to your peers, and you will gain knowledge and a different perspective regarding the way you do things. You will gain strength and get respect if you tidy up clutter at home, work, and in relationships.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Add a little creativity to whatever you do, and you will excel. An imaginative approach to work or any challenge you face will give you an edge. Romantic opportunities are apparent, but they are not necessarily wise choices.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Negativity will lead to loss. Don't allow anyone to bring you down or add to your stress. Focus on impending responsibilities, not on what others want you to do. If you want to accomplish your goals, avoid being taken for granted.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Don't sit at home all alone. Invite friends over, or engage in activities that will get you out and about. You need a change of scenery or a little excitement to brighten your day. Frustrating situations will lead to anger and poor judgment.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Impulse will lead to loss. Cut your cost before making changes or reversing a decision that you mistakenly made in the past. Give a detailed introduction to your plans for the future. Listen to advice being offered.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Take advantage of an opportunity that will change or add excitement to your life. Interacting with people you find inspiring will help you come up with a suitable way to make your lifestyle more conducive to doing the things you enjoy most.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Put more effort in at home. The more adaptable your place is for you to introduce a new project or lifestyle, the easier it will be for you to reach your goal. Don't let an argument or frustration lead to poor health or injury.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Do something that will make a difference to your community. Love is in the stars, and a change of attitude can brighten a relationship you value. Being honest about your likes and dislikes will improve your situation and your future.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Confusion is likely to set in if you are too quick to make a decision or move that will be difficult to reverse. Focus on work and diversifying what you have to offer to suit the current economic climate.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You can make things happen if you take the initiative. Don't let an emotional setback cause you to lose sight of your goals. Open up opportunities at home by making changes that will allow you to expand your interests. Love is in the stars.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Concentrate on what you know you can achieve legally, financially, or medically. Finish what you start, and leave no room for criticism when working in unison with others. Take action, and show your leadership abilities.





Random thoughts:

• Ever notice the abbreviation for the last three days of the work week is WTF?

• They say that brevity is the soul of wit, but I don't know. Wit is just an idea; does it really have a soul? I guess Plato would say it does, but you know where he is now? He's dead.

• Last night I dreamed there was a zombie outbreak in Sudan. So, like, be on the lookout for that.

• Maybe I should stop turning my opinions into jokes. Then people will never know my real opinions. I'm like the boy who cried sarcasm.

• What defines a "big rack" on a woman? On a deer, I'd say anything over eight points. But on a woman? Probably more like 14.

• Brilliant idea for an energy-conservation/efficiency consultant agency name: UseLess™ Consultants. There. It's in the ether now. First one to the Patent Office wins.

• According to a recent study, Americans will believe anything if you say it's from a study and it makes them feel superior to others.

• I love commercials that pretend to be real-life conversations. It's usually like two women in a kitchen talking about periods or something, and then one of them just starts straight-up dropping obscene amounts of knowledge and product specs about Kleenex or some such fluff. "Did you know that Kleenex is made with 17 percent recycled organic alpaca wool?" Well, I do now, Crazy Lady Who Talks Like Nobody Ever Talks Ever.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks Matt Gorman for providing material for today's Ledge.

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