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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don't let emotional confusion cause you to lose sight of your goals. Change is good, and implementing old with new will give you exactly what you need to accomplish your goals with a unique touch. An old lover or friend is likely to surface.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Consider your choices, and you will realize the best route to take personally and professionally. Diversify what you have to offer to suit the changing times, and you will excel. Don't get stuck in the past when it's the future that counts.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Focus on self-improvement, but don't go overboard. Cost-effective alterations will make you feel good and keep your stress level down. Deal with any uncertainty you have with a peer or your vocation. Love and romance are on the rise.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Promises made to family members will be difficult to keep and lead to disappointment. Changes at home may not be your idea, but it is wise to accept the inevitable. What appears to be negative will turn out to be to your benefit.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Organize or attend a community event. The changes you make will be met with approval. Speak openly about your feelings and plans for the future. A new acquaintance will develop into a long-lasting friendship or partnership.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Moneymaking ventures will be profitable. Invest in your abilities, and you will succeed. Small business ventures will help make your money work for you. Keep your financial and personal situation a secret until you have reached your ideal goal.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Open-mindedness will help when faced with adversity. Seeing all sides of a situation will favor finding a solution that suits everyone. Don't make an abrupt change, but integrate the alterations that will benefit everyone.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Expect delays. Watch your step, and avoid mishaps. Ease into whatever you plan to do and avoid overspending. A problem with rules and regulations should be anticipated. Focus on taking care of your personal well-being.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Changing your work habits will bring good results. You can get far more accomplished if you are happy in your personal life. A moneymaking idea will pan out well for you. Romance is highlighted.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Take one step at a time. Listen and observe what others do. Do not let an emotional situation confuse you. Analyze what's going on, and estimate the best move possible. Make sure that ulterior motives aren't involved on your part or someone else's.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Put more time and effort into your surroundings. Redecorate, or make a residential move or alteration that better suits your current lifestyle, needs, or professional endeavors. Love is in the stars.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A creative approach to the way you handle your finances or a partnership will help you get your way. Don't go overboard or embellish what it is you are trying to accomplish. Excess is the enemy; moderation is your friend.





What I Want on My Tombstone:

• "She Died as She Lived: Pointlessly"

• "You're Next"

• "Avenge Me"

• "She Was an Effin' Classy Broad"

• "Unlike When She Faced the Firing Squad, She Will Be Missed"

• "Catch Ya On the Flip Side"

• "Watch That First Step: It's a Doozy"

• "The End …?"

• "She is Definitely Really Dead and Not Living Incognito in the Bahamas"

• "You May Now Pry Whatever You Wish From Her Hands"

• "Beloved Daughter, Sister, and Parking-Ramp Attendant"

• "Hey, At Least She's Out of the House"

• "Site of Future Hauntings"

• "Don't Drink That Milk in the Fridge. It's Expired."

• "Oopsies"

• "She Hated Clichéd Sentiment; May She Rest in Peace"

• "Wish You Were Here"

Kit Bryant. Just in case the Mayans were right.

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