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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Prepare for what's to come. Sitting at home and missing out on an event because you don't feel up to it will be your loss. Seize the moment; embrace whatever is being offered. Partnerships, progress, and prosperity are all attainable.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You may have found a bargain, but before you make a purchase, do your research and check your motives. The vendor may be misleading you, or you may be trying to impress someone with what you have. Focus on work, not pleasures.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Opt to wait when it comes to altering your surroundings or updating your image. You aren't likely to love the results you get if you rush into something without doing enough research. Gullibility will leave you in a vulnerable position.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Spend time with family or your lover. Remembering the past will help you make wiser choices. Decisions should be based on what works for you personally, even if that means altering other aspects of your life. Don't defer; voice your opinion.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Everything will depend on what you do and how well you do it. Being a team player will allow you to win favors and support. Alterations at home will stabilize your personal life. Someone from your past will help you now. Love is highlighted.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Too much said and not enough done will lead to complaints. Emotions will be difficult to control. You are best to do whatever chores you have so you can move on to bigger and better opportunities. Time management will be essential to advance.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Now is your time to explore new avenues and make changes that will bring you one step closer to your dreams, hopes, and wishes. Reunite with someone from your past who you think has something to offer you now.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don't be too quick to make changes at home that may be costly. Use common sense, or you may end up stuck with something that doesn't fit your lifestyle or your plans for the future. Good fortune comes from helping yourself.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Listen carefully, and size up a situation before you retaliate. It'll be best to let your actions be your voice. Take care of whatever responsibilities you've taken on before someone makes you look bad.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don't make promises you cannot keep. Someone will try to coerce you into doing something that doesn't really suit your skills. Contain your temper, and don't vent your frustration on loved ones or anyone who can affect your future.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): This is a good day to sign contracts, formulate deals, or move forward with a self-improvement project that will make your life better. Property deals or making a move will be beneficial. Romance will enhance your love life.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A partnership may terminate if you don't compromise or at least listen to complaints. Weigh the pros and cons of your current situation to discover what you must abandon in order to do what suits you best.

 

 

 

 


Sure-Fire Dating Tips for Men:

• Want to ask out your crush, but you are broke? After a fancy dinner, just "realize" you "forgot" your "wallet" (Ziplock bag of change) at home and tell your date, ‚"I'll hit you back next time." Your date will totally be cool with it.

• Asking out a guy? Bring an X-Box, some pizza rolls, and wear something low-cut. That's what works for me.

• Any girl who does not accept you for who you are, perpetual gym shorts and all, does not deserve you.

• Try to compare your date with as many of your ex-girlfriends as possible. That way, she can become a Frankenstein's Monster of all your favorite bits of those other girls.

• Lady Pals, more than anything, love it when instead of simply listening and empathizing, you tell them how to fix all their stupid problems.

• Wear a tie. Only a tie.

• Women really respond to body-language and facial cues. Try sensually rubbing your body all over her while raising your eyebrows a bunch of times in quick succession.

• If your hair is silky and manageable, you're not using enough hair gel.

• If you are looking for lasting love, instate a three-strike rule during all dates on the following words: "adorbs‚" "totes‚" and "amazeballs." Anyone who talks like a cutesy teen blog is not ready for an adult relationship.

• Be safe. Wear kneepads and a helmet.

• Relax and remember: Women are people, just like you — except mysterious and terrifying.

— Kit Bryant knows women personally.













 
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