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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Face your troubles head-on. Your ability to stand up to anyone will put you in command and enable you to show your talent. You'll draw a crowd, giving you the platform required to present what you have to offer. Love is highlighted.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Say less; do more. Opposition will surface if you are too vocal. What you accomplish at the end of the day is what will count. Take action, and you'll reap the rewards. An empty promise is apparent.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Set your priorities, and strive for attainable goals. Discussing plans with family will lead to a challenge that will motivate you to make alterations to your life. Love is in the stars, but don't be too quick to make a commitment.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Not everyone will stick to the truth. Don't give anyone the opportunity to take over, but you have to be honest about your capabilities. Rewards will develop if you do what you say and say what you do.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You are in control. Be a participant, and enjoy the spotlight. Share what you have to offer, and your leadership ability will surface. Push your way to the top, and own your position openly. You will be envied by some but respected by all.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Avoid being bullied into something you don't want to do. Success will come from following your heart and using your skills to get ahead. Concern over what others do will slow you down. Focus on the moment and what you have to offer.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Travel, intrigue, and learning should be your goals. Getting together with inspiring people will help with an important decision. Love is highlighted, and planning romance is recommended. A partnership will improve your future.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Refuse to let someone who doesn't understand the nature of what you do intervene or push you in the wrong direction. Disregard any complaints you receive. You'll surpass expectations when everyone sees the results you get from your hard work.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Someone close to you will reveal what you really have to offer, so don't exaggerate. A past lover or business partner will offer you something interesting. Consider the changes entailed before making a commitment.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): An idea brought to your attention has potential. Develop a plan that will benefit everyone with a vested interest in what you are doing. Experience will help you recognize why something similar didn't work in the past. Proceed with caution.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Improve your home life with a minor adjustment. Sharing what you have with someone will open up opportunities to do more of the things you enjoy doing most. Love is on the rise, and a promise will stabilize your life.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Less talk and more action will help you avoid complaints. Focus on what you can do to make your surroundings more comfortable. Don't be fooled by what someone says. Chances are good the truth is not being told.

 

 

 

 


Things to Do on the Moon:

• Catch some cosmic rays and maybe gain some Fantastic Four-type powers, or at least try not to die.

• Psych myself up by bench pressing 500 pounds.

• Look for the spot that Neil Armstrong told you that he "marked."

• Make Moon-dust angels.

• Continually report to Houston: "Why do you have be so serious all time? Can't we just talk about our feelings?"

• Open up a Starbucks in the southern hemisphere to complement the one already open on the northern.

• Do the moonwalk … on the Moon.

• Prepare for the colonization by planting apple seeds every 50 yards.

• Try to find the Man in the Earth. (Hint: he likes maple syrup, eh.)

• Look up how many flier miles this trip earned you, and see Shatner negotiate a better deal.

• Adjust the flag so it's facing the correct way.

• Squish the Earth between your thumb and fingers through the magic of forced perspective. For added effect, say, "I crush you, puny earthmen."

• Make a bunch of "You'll never guess where I'm calling from" phone calls.

• Keep trying to get the remote-controlled rovers to do double-flips off the raised rims of craters.

• Send humble tweets like, "Sigh. Woke up on the Moon, again. SSDD."

• Remember to bury my bio-degradable trash conspicuously, so as to reduce my carbon footprint.

Brian Tanner returned from the dark side of the Moon (the elevator had a crack in it).













 
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