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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Network with experienced people to develop some innovative ideas that will translate into moneymaking projects. Different cultures will offer extra inspiration and motivation. Let your imagination run wild. Love is likely to take you by surprise.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Rethink your next move. You may not be given all the information you need regarding changes at home or to one of your investments. Don't be afraid to make a last-minute change if you feel you are being overcharged or taken for granted.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Doing too much will lead to few accomplishments. Assess your situation and the funds you have available to move forward. Excess will end up holding you back. Focus on partnerships and getting the help needed to accomplish your goals.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don't feel the need to make changes because someone is pressuring you. Coast along, do what you do best, and let your innovative intuition guide you. Take on a home-improvement project that will add to your comfort and lower your stress.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Join a group that shares your interest or goal. A geographical change will give you a new perspective on the possibilities that exist. Networking will lead to personal and professional friendships. Success and happiness are within reach.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don't take chances that might affect your reputation or your position. Not everyone will favor your suggestions or intentions. Don't allow an emotional setback to interfere with your plans. Concentrate on what's important to you, and keep moving.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You'll entice people to follow you. Your outlook and intelligence will open doors and bring about changes in the way people treat you and the offers that are proposed. Consider neighbors and friends as allies, and favors will be granted.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Let your actions speak for you. A last-minute change can lead to a misunderstanding that will be difficult to reverse. Honesty is a must but so is compassion. Be creative and loving, and you will bypass an uncomfortable situation.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You'll have plenty of chemistry and attract all sorts of attention from people with suggestions and proposals. Take every opportunity you get to market your plans and plant possibilities in the minds of those who can help you advance.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Step up your pace, and focus on what you want to accomplish. Don't let an emotional, financial, or institutional matter slow you down or confuse you regarding what you need to accomplish in order to maintain equilibrium and security.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Put greater effort into home and family. You can enhance your relationships with the people who mean the most to you if you are honest about what you really want to do. Love, romance, and self-improvement will help you excel.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Embellishing the truth will cause problems with friends, relatives, or neighbors. Avoid any procedure or risk that can lead to a mishap. Too much of anything will make you look bad. Gracious and humble gestures will help you avoid trouble.

 

 

 

 


Curiosity Killed the Cat …

• … and the mice rejoiced.

• … The cat was survived by his owners, the Gladwells, and his friends, Rex the Dog and Pookems the Turtle.

• … but not before taking out a highly suspicious $100,000 life-insurance policy.

• … but Curiosity only maimed the dog and printed libelous material regarding the bird.

• … but if Curiosity hadn't done it, the cat's hard livin' and mob debt would've caught up to him sooner or later.

• … but Stupidity masterminded the hit.

• … even though a life sentence would have been more humane and would have cost a third of the tax-payers' dollars.

• … or was Curiosity framed? Leading conspiracies theorists indicate it may have been Colonel Mustard in the White House with the Plasma-Inverter-Ray Gun.

• … although the autopsy revealed the official cause of death was a cocktail of arsenic, cocaine, and Fancy Feast.

• … "Curiosity," of course, being the prison nickname of our current boyfriend, and "the cat" in question being the calico we got from grandma yesterday … but if the parole board says he's rehabilitated, who are we to question it?

• … Don't cry, li'l sis. What I meant was, Curiosity took the cat to a nice farm where he gets to drink cream and eat mice all day. What? No, the mice are fine, too. They just play around in the cat's mouth for a while and then go back to their families.

— Kit Bryant saw nothing. She was at home with her valid alibi the night it all went down.













 
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