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ARIES March 21-April 19 Put more time and effort into your home, money, and relationships. You will be able to tie up loose ends by keeping your options open and relying on experience. Revisit hobbies, friends, or places you used to frequent. Romance is in the stars.

TAURUS April 20-May 20 Lean on a trusted person who has the same end goal as you. Don't let added pressure get you down when creativity can bring a workable solution. Don't misinterpret someone's interest in you; ulte- rior motives are present.

GEMINI May 21-June 20 Don't get agitated when keeping busy is all that's required to accomplish your goals. Losing time over a senseless disagreement isn't worth your time and energy. Success is your ticket to a better place. Focus on enhancing your love life.

CANCER June 21-July 22 Size up your situation ? you will be able to find a suitable resolution. Emotional prob- lems may restrict you if you aren't prepared to find alternative means of taking care of responsibilities that crop up. Listen, observe, and avoid opposition.

LEO July 23-Aug. 22 You've got what it takes to persuade others to back your ideas. Be responsible, and you will enhance your reputation and position yourself for advancement. You don't have to buy your way into anything. Use your charisma, not your cash.

VIRGO Aug. 23-Sept. 22 Do whatever it takes to get your way, but don't upset someone who can influence your future. Know whom to bend to and whom to put in place. Don't follow the crowd regarding an unsafe venture. Tactfully decline; do your own thing.

LIBRA Sept. 23-Oct. 22 Love, life, and fitting in will be what counts. Offer your original ideas, and compliment those who have something to contribute in return. Think big, and opportunities will develop with someone whose company you enjoy. A lifestyle change will bring good results.

SCORPIO Oct. 23-Nov. 21 Don't take anything or anyone for granted. Keep life simple, and keep your overhead small. Stick to the rules, and focus on budgeting and saving for something special. Deal with competition gra- ciously. Positive action and travel will help you excel.

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22-Dec. 21 Rethink your plans before you share them with someone in a high position. Be real- istic; don't take on too much. Falling short of your expectations will make others question your ability. Focus on reputation, status, and love.

CAPRICORN Dec. 22-Jan. 19 Concentrate on making financial gains. Don't take on responsibilities that will not bring you the returns you need to get ahead. Impulsive decisions or moves must be avoided. Find out where you stand regarding friends, relatives, and partners.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20-Feb. 18 Fortuitous offerings will come from an unexpected source. Contracts, settlements, promises, and relationships will turn in your favor. Changes at home will result in greater stability. Love and self-improvement should be arranged.

PISCES Feb. 19-March 20 Stay on top of every situation you face. Opposition and underhandedness will develop if you let your guard down. Dishonesty from you or someone else will turn a small problem into a big fiasco. Focus on home, family, and helping others.

 

 

 

 


Why I Don't Jog Shirtless:

• I burn very easily, and everyone knows manflesh should be enjoyed rare.

• I already have a daily shirtless chess match.

• I only just got everyone to stop calling me "Weird Sweaty Half-Naked Running Guy," and I'm not going back to those awful days.

• It's like a politer, calmer, less-drunk version of streaking. For me, it's gotta be all or nothing.

• I can't just flaunt the dignified majesty of my belly button around town without any fanfare. There has to be an unveiling ceremony or something.

• I don't have any important tattoos I wish to share with the general public.

• Contrary to commonly held belief, I do not enjoy making children cry.

• Shirtless jogging is an activity available pretty much exclusively to males, and I refuse to implicitly support sexism.

• I have a little window in my torso, and apparently some people find it "off-putting."

• I can't afford any shirtless time — I'm in the midst of a record-breaking navel lint collection attempt.

• I have a disconcerting chest hair pattern. (By "pattern," I really mean "surplus.")

• Any fool can run around topless; memo me when bottomless jogging catches on.

• I'm lazy.

WILL HARTMAN thinks this whole fitness craze is gonna blow over.













 
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