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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don't let anyone take you for granted. What you are offered and what you receive will not be the same. Stay focused, and nurture partnerships that are equal and can bring you success and happiness. Love is in the stars.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Work, ethics, and discipline will pay off. It's important to share your plans and to be clear about your motives or intentions. What you learn through conversations will be priceless. Think big, but move forward frugally.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Stick to whatever budget you set. Put your money in a safe place where you will not be tempted to use it inappropriately. You will gain greater knowledge and awareness if you study, listen, or gain experience in a field that interests you.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Information will be easy to come by, but it may not be accurate or helpful. Decipher what you can use to your advantage and what is a waste of time. Following someone else will not work in your favor. Do your own thing.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Honor favors, but don't be too proud to ask for something in return. A quiet, reserved approach to personal aspects of your life will bring you the highest returns. Opportunity will arise because of your dedicated offering to a cause you care about.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Focus on self-improvement and networking. You can make changes that will open a window of opportunity. Don't let frustration hold you back or cause you to miss out on a good deal. Anger won't help you, but constructive action will.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Make a move physically, financially, or emotionally. Choose what works for you, and head for the finish line. Now is not the time to procrastinate. You can make lifestyle improvements and enhance your skills and attitude.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Money and help are on the way. You will gain through the company you keep and the friends and relatives you have helped in the past. An emotional situation will also bring you rewards. You can stabilize your life and build a brighter future.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Take a moment to consider the past and present. Your future will be much clearer, and you will come up with a plan to help you move onward and upward. Alterations to your living arrangement will enhance your love life.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don't reveal too much about your plans. Get everything in order first. Socializing will lead to an interesting idea and a long-term relationship with someone who shares your vision. Offering knowledge will bring a cash injection.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Concentrate on financial goals. Stabilizing your personal and professional position will bring the boost you need to get ahead. Romance is highlighted, and greater confidence and motivation will result from the closeness you share.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Choose your friends and associates wisely. Don't hide facts. Look at the big picture; put your ego aside. Stubbornness will not bring good results, but compromise will. The possibilities are endless if you strive for unity and equality.

 

 

 

 


Easier Than Taking Candy From a Baby:

• Rationalizing taking candy from a baby. (It could have choked. You saved the day. You are a great person.)

• Taking candy from a generous and/or weight-conscious adult.

• Tomorrow night's bank heist, thanks to your crack team of safecrackers and crack.

• Taking candy from a fetus.

• Getting Rebecca to go on a date with you since your cool-guy makeover.

• Taking asparagus from a baby.

• Winning the championship game, unless that team of misfit underdogs makes some sort of miraculous comeback. But, come on; what are the odds of that?

• Giving candy to a baby.

• Swimming upstream, thanks to spending the first eight years of your life being raised by wild Alaskan salmon.

• Taunting a baby by eating candy in front of it.

• Squirting water out of that hole in your cheek, due to that regrettable pencil-fight accident.

• Taking candy from a baby doll.

• Sleeping, now that you've done your part in the fight against childhood obesity.

— Kit Bryant prefers candy that is not covered in baby drool but supports feelin' like a big man.













 
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