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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Make changes now. Develop your ideas and plans, and discuss your intentions with someone who will contribute. Don't get flustered or try to cut corners. Accidents will set you back. Take your time; do things right. Love is highlighted.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Take care of any financial or personal paperwork. Procrastinating will lead to anxiety and stress. Being proactive and well-prepared will impress people, leading to fortunate opportunities. Take care of ailments or injuries quickly. Collect on old debts.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Relationships count, so don't terminate a partnership that can offer you something in the future. Financial gains can be made, as long as you stick to a set budget. Emotions will escalate. You cannot buy love, but you can win it with affection.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Deal with institutions, government agencies, or any matters that can affect you financially or medically. Stifle anyone trying to take advantage of you in order to avoid a stressful situation. Assess, do what's necessary, and move on quickly.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Caring, sharing, and helping others will lead to high returns. Taking on responsibilities will show your capabilities, and they should be embraced. Love and romance will play out in your favor. Generosity and kindness will bring great success.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Radical changes may be tempting, but the consequences would be too great to consider moving forward. There will be too many obstacles to overcome. Opportunities will come from picking up the pieces after someone else fails to excel.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You'll capture the attention of the people most likely to support your efforts. Your contribution will bring about prospects that can help you establish your presence in an area you want to dominate. Partnerships will improve.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Use your intuition regarding financial or domestic decisions. Consider signing an agreement, but don't give in to demands that don't promise results. Take greater interest in your community or past relationships. Don't spend foolishly.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Embrace change as well as challenges. Use established connections to get the results you want. Love and romance are in the stars, and favorable alterations to your current living arrangements will lead to greater happiness.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Look at all aspects of any contract or deal you are trying to get launched. Don't look for ordinary solutions when a more obscure approach is required. Forget past squabbles, and reunite with someone from your past who can help you now.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Socialize, network, share ideas, and formulate agreements. Suggestions will be worth considering, and mixing business with pleasure will bring a friendly atmosphere to whatever you are trying to accomplish, ensuring success. A proposal looks promising.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Someone will want to ruin your plans. Don't allow criticism to slow your progress. Rethink your strategy and incorporate suggestions. Don't misinterpret someone's interest. Ulterior motives are likely. Resolve injuries or ailments quickly.






British Sarah: Excuse me, but could you pass me your rubber?

American Mark: Huh? You want my —?

British Sarah: Your rubber. I need to use it.

(Erasers are called "rubbers" in Britain.)

American Asa: You want some Gardettos?

Syrian Mousa: What are these? Ghettos?

American Asa: No, GAR-dettos.

(Someone passes a bag of yogurt-covered pretzels around the table.)

Syrian Mousa: Oh look: Now we have two Ghettos.

Mieke: My mom teaches English to fugitives.

Todd: Your mom does WHAT?!?

Mieke: Wait — I mean immigrants.

Anke: There is so much cows in Germany right now.

Jake: Cows???

Anke: Yeah, so much.

Jake: Ohhhhh, you mean "chaos."

Syrian Mousa: That guy is really pissing me off. He took my [parking] spot. I wanna beat him. I wanna beat him off.

("off" versus "up" — the importance of knowing your prepositions)

Never tell a Dutch girl (in German) how hard it is to "klarkommen" with the other people in your building. In German, that word means "get along with," but in Dutch, it means "orgasm." Lesson learned.

— Delightful anecdote, name withheld.

— Global Buddies is a recognized University of Iowa student organization that matches new international-exchange students with American students who have been on campus for at least one year.

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