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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Love is on the rise. Discussing plans with your lover, a friend, relative, or neighbor can rectify any problem before it has a chance to develop. Honesty, integrity, and playing by the rules will lead to your success.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Pick up a hobby, or get involved in a group or event that will help you expand your interests or your financial future. Don't let responsibilities limit you; engage in pursuits that can stabilize your personal life.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Take pride in what you do. Love is on the rise, and talking about the way you feel and what your intentions are will help you build a stronger relationship with someone special. A money deal must be handled carefully.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): A change to one of your relationships will leave you wondering what happened. A secret you were keeping probably instigated the problem. Backtracking now will take ingenuity, honesty, and sacrifice in order to keep the relationship equal.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Communication will be key when dealing with others. Your ability to tie things together and make sense out of something that may confuse others will help you win the support you need professionally and the love and affection you want personally.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Visit someone you respect or who can offer you knowledge, wisdom, or food for thought. Expand your awareness, and you'll discover a way to overcome an obstacle that has been holding you back. Don't let an emotional situation deter you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Take charge when it comes to your personal relationships. Don't leave anything to chance, and be sure to make your intentions clear. Love is in the stars, and you can enhance our lifestyle by making positive personal moves. Make a commitment.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Take care of pressing matters involving medical issues, institutions, government agencies, or large corporations. A promise you fulfill will lead to a personal opportunity. Take on a project that will enhance your home and living arrangements.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You'll attract attention and make a difference in any organization or group to which you contribute. Love is in the stars, and discussing plans with someone special will bring positive results. A change at home will ease your stress.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Make positive changes to your home, but stick to your budget. Not everyone will be happy with your decisions, so you are best to get approval from neighbors or family before you move forward. Love is highlighted.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Size up your financial situation, and find a way to decrease your debt. A relationship will help stabilize your personal life. A chance to make extra cash is apparent. Resurrect an old idea that you can refurbish to fit a growing need.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don't get hung up on trivial matters. Look at the big picture, and decide where you fit in. Anger will stand in the way of your success. Refrain from saying something that will incriminate you. Let experience be your guide.

 

 

 

 


A Scotsman's Inner Thoughts:

• Even me mates dinnae unnerstand whot Ah'm sayin tae them hafe deh time.

• Damn, ma smart phone dinnae fit in ma sporran.

• Why do the friggin' Irish get all the luhk?

• Nae, I will nae ride the bloody horse side-saddle.

• Shite, I pinned ma kilt to mae wee laddie!

• Does this tartan make mae look faht?

• Highlands-shmighlands, the weather here sucks.

• Could I get free beer on St. Patteh's Dah if I pretend mae accent is Irish?

• If'n onleh Ah could teach mae favorite sheep tae cook…

• Mel Gibson has a right pert arse in that Brave Heart.

• Toss the caber? I cannae even lift the friggin' pole.

• I dinnae whae, but red hair and freckles just dinnae do it for me.

• Must Ah listen to that crappy bagpipe music all bloody day?

• I bet Nessie and the Sinclair dinosaur would hafe ah grand auld shag.

• Ah'd sooner gae tae the opera than get pissed and start a fight at the soccer match; och, why cannae Ah just beh mae?

Duncan Stewart ate haggis and parsnips once. That was enough.













 
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