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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Get back to basics and what you do best. Don't take anyone's word for it; do your own research. Love and romance are on the rise, and turning a friendship into something more serious can benefit you in many ways.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Size up your situation, and look for ways to pick up additional skills, knowledge, and information that will help turn an idea into a lucrative venture. Taking action and discussing plans with someone to whom you are emotionally tied will pay off.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You'll charm someone important with your quick wit and unusual approach to solving problems. Emotions will surface, giving others a chance to see how passionate and sincere you can be. Channel your energy into personal improvements.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Now is not the time to share your plans. Someone is likely to intervene and ruin a surprise you have for someone special. Too much talk and not enough action will lead to trouble and an unexpected change of plans.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You'll attract attention with your charm and passionate response. Make a change if you think it will help you get what you want. You will learn easily, and you should spend time with people who have something interesting to offer.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Not everyone will be eager to do things your way, so do your own thing, and allow others the same privilege. Using force will end up working against you. A challenge will require your undivided attention. Networking will be necessary.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You will learn a lot from the people you are close to. Observe what others do and say, and you will have a better handle on what you can do to get ahead. Expect a partnership to go through changes. Love is highlighted.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Put more emphasis on what you can do. Speculating or offering something that may or may not actually manifest will damage your reputation. Do your due diligence before taking action. Networking will help you attract a worthwhile proposal.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You'll be torn between what you should do and what you want to do. Putting time and effort into your home and family will strengthen important personal relationships. Offering your services at a premium will help you advance.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Opportunities and success are earned, and if you put greater effort into getting what you want right now, you will be successful. Open your doors to people who have something to contribute, and mastermind what you want to achieve.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Put more emphasis on home, family, and getting your place in order. Money can be made, contracts signed, and deals put into place. Love is highlighted, and romancing someone you want to be with forever should be your goal.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don't trust anyone with your personal secrets. Bide your time, and keep a close watch over any personal situation you face. Keep your distance from anyone making impossible promises. Uncertainty should be your warning to retreat.





Why Mom is disappointed this time …

• She thought we'd turn out cuter.

• We can't even roller-skate backwards.

• She remembered when we accidentally called the teacher "Mom" and the title lost all meaning.

• That's not how she raised us.

• We are terrible strippers; now, how will she pay off our student loans?

• We like the store-bought jellybeans better.

• Sharon's daughter got accepted to med school.

• We know what we did.

• We never got the hang of the semicolon; or did we?

• She wasted her "pretty years" on us.

• We kiss our mother with that mouth.

• She never acted like that when she was our age.

• We assumed she'd say something racist about our "ethnic" boyfriend.

• We're just like our father.

• Our old haircut framed our face so much better.

• Lingering post-partum depression.

Kit Bryant wrote this at the behest of your mother. Why don't you call anymore?

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