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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Put everything you've got into personal gain. Invest in you and what you can do to improve your situation. Don't let anyone deter you from engaging in a project, activity or plan. Taking action will shut down any opposition you face.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Don't divulge private information if you want your plans to unfold without a hitch. Take care of any loose ends that might leave you in a vulnerable position. Observe what everyone around you is doing to avoid being caught off guard.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You'll impress people if you participate in a cause, fundraiser, or event you believe in. Your ability to find solutions and formulate a simple plan will help you gain seniority. Don't be surprised if someone is jealous of you.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Keep your thoughts to yourself. Accept the inevitable. An emotional matter will develop if you or someone you are close to becomes controlling or pushy. Try not to change your mind too often, or you will send the wrong impression.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Plan a vacation, or get involved in a project, course, or apprenticeship that will allow you to expand your mind and improve your lifestyle. Love is on the rise, and discussing your plans with someone special will enhance your relationship.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don't get angry, get moving. It's up to you to take control and make things happen. Focus on gathering information and expanding your knowledge and experience through networking and interacting with others. Be prepared when opportunity knocks.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Plan to have some fun. Get out with friends you enjoy or people who offer good conversation. Love and romance are highlighted, and no matter what you do, you will attract plenty of attention from your current lover or someone new.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Take a time-out to sort out any changes you want to make to your home or family life. Be creative; you will come up with a way to enhance your living arrangements to better suit your personal and professional needs.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You've got all the moves and ideas to win favors. Communication is the key to getting what you want. Your outgoing nature will bring greater interest from someone who wants to partner with you to reach similar goals.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Put your money and possessions in a safe place. You stand to lose if you are too trusting. Joint ventures, lending, or borrowing are all bad ideas right now. Focus on home and family, and work to secure your position and your future.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You can turn a good idea into a profitable venture. Don't just talk about your plans; spring into action, and get things up and running. Love is in the stars, and a romantic plan should be executed.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don't take anything or anyone for granted. You are better off doing things on your own. You will be disappointed in someone you thought you could trust. Don't share your personal secrets with anyone. Put your money in a safe place.

 

 

 

 


Horrible Video Games Ideas:

• Postman's Creed: Use hard-core parkour to jump hedges and dodge dogs in your quest to become the Postmaster General.

• God of Peace: In this nonexplosive spinoff to the God of War series, give presents to the other gods and send Hallmark cards to your enemies to apologize. Trade your swords and shields for an olive branch and ambrosia.

• 27 Dresses: The Game

• Red Head Redemption: In the wake of the Indian Removal Act, a new menace threatens the Western frontier: Gingers. Using your old Winchester rifle, hunt down the threat, and make the West safe for everyone else.

• The Sims: Retirement Village Expansion: Try to relieve your Sims' perpetually full bladder bars and send $3 checks to their 40-year-old children. See if you can help them figure out who's stealing their medicine.

• Mass Effect: Salvation: Expertly make your way through three hours of preaching, singing, and communion to unlock the Parking Nightmare and Catholic Guilt bonus levels.

• Grand Theft Snacks: Steal from the nearest gas station, but nothing too big, or you'll get caught and have to pick up trash on the highway. Killing a prostitute for no reason is still optional.

• Kinect Barber Shop: Give everyone in your small town a similar haircut while discussing the prospects of your high-school football team as though it actually matters.

• Minor League Baseball '13: Our players don't wear names on their jerseys, but it costs less than Major League Baseball and the games are good background noise for drinking cheap beer.

Chuck Kirk, Nate Wulf, and Stevie Pedersen are not rated by the ESRB.













 
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