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New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): Be open to new ideas. Let your creative juices flow. Socialize and network, and most of all, look for love, friendship, or a business partner who has as much to bring to the table as you do. It's time to embrace new people and experiences.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Don't let what others do or say cause volatility in your life. Remain calm, and keep your emotions tucked away where no one will be able to take advantage of your vulnerabilities. Keep busy. It's what you accomplish that will count.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Don't give in to emotional blackmail. Realize what you are capable of doing, and head for the finish line. Strive to stand out and make a difference. Speak on behalf of a cause, and you will discover new talents.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): A change is necessary. Make it happen instead of waiting to be forced to move on. Choice is a wonderful thing, but if you don't utilize the right to choose, you will continue to give in and give up. Take control and win.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Your emotions will spark an impulsive streak that, if controlled properly, can catapult you into the winner's circle. Calculate your every move, but do so with finesse and punctuality. Take the spotlight, and wear the recognition you receive with pride.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Question your decisions before you follow through. You may not be thinking too clearly when it comes to the outcome. Look to someone you respect, and follow whatever pattern or course will result in your success.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Wager the pros and cons, especially when it comes to long-term employment. Recognizing the potential of a company, service, or opportunity will be the key to choosing the best option that arises. Your ideas will be valued and put to use.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Physical action will be your best alternative. Focus on networking, creativity, and staying out of trouble with people connected to you personally. Love is on the rise, but only if it's a physical encounter. Self-improvement will pay off.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You'll fight a losing battle at home if you don't stick to the budget. Alternative living arrangements will give you a new perspective on the possibilities that exist. Let past experience help you make a good choice now.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You'll be pulled in different directions. Size up your situation, and make a choice based on what's tangible. Keeping your wits about you will save you when unexpected developments appear. Assess your situation, and make a strategic move.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You'll handle any situation you face with clarity and common sense. Listen to your inner voice, and believe in your own ability to do what's best. Greater stability will be yours if you make the right choice now. Be good to you.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Kindness and generosity will win support and help you put past mistakes behind you. Size up your situation, and make your decisions based on facts, figures, and the truth, and you will bypass an emotional mistake caused by overreacting.

 

 

 

 


Best Sam Spade lines never written:

• There she stood, wearing nothing but a smile and a chain saw.

• She turned to me and said, "Charlie, these last four days without you have been the longest of my life. I couldn't wait to be in your arms again." I only wish I knew who Charlie was.

• She became just like my feminine side: dangerous, psychotic, and pressing charges.

• The banana hiding in his tux jacket turned out to be loaded revolver with a hair trigger. It seemed I underestimated him, as well as his potassium needs.

• I turned to find him standing in front of me, handsome as the day is long. I wanted to let him know how good a friend he was to me, how much he meant in my life. How I longed to hold him in a brotherly embrace. Shame is, you can't hug your own reflection.

• The client was more of a monkey than a man, but somehow we were able to communicate. Only after experiencing a series of unforeseen shenanigans, desperately trying to keep him focused on the task at hand, I was able to return him to the Man in the Yellow Hat.

• The thing I didn't realize, until it was all over, was that I'd been saying all of this out loud the entire time.

Brian Tanner loves a leggy dame.













 
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