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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Keep things in perspective. It will be easy to get all worked up over nothing. The cost of saying something you regret will be greater than anticipated. Work hard, say little, and you will get through any unfortunate misunderstanding gracefully.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Keep moving and accomplishing personally and professionally. It's vital that you don't stop or waste time. Your accomplishments now will buy you time later. An interesting encounter with someone vibrant will get you thinking about options and new possibilities.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Pick your battles. There is no point ruining your reputation over something you cannot win. Stick to what you do best, and focus on completing the tasks you are responsible for so you can move on without concern.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Avoid anyone who appears to be erratic or unpredictable. A close relationship should be put at the top of your list. Make plans that will bring you closer to the one you love and set the stage for a better future.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You've got all the right moves and can turn anything you touch to gold, but don't let it go to your head. Too much of anything will backfire, stopping your progress midway. Be smart, concise, and well-informed.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Look outside your normal range mentally, physically, and emotionally, and you will get the answers you seek. A chance to make a financial change is apparent, but caution must be taken and restrictions put in place. Self-control is key.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): A change of plans will lead to a change of heart. Don't be afraid to branch out on your own. Changes at home will be prelude to bigger and better things to come. Take on a challenge, and you will surpass expectations.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Put your best foot forward, and engage in social events that will help you get ahead personally and professionally. Your charm and passionate approach will attract plenty of attention, as well as a unique partnership.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Avoid opposition by staying out of confrontational situations. It's in your best interest to do your own thing. Anger and upset will lead to carelessness that can result in injury or lowered vitality. Protect your health and well-being.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Reconnect with people who have helped you in the past. Offering something that will repay the favor will result in an ongoing relationship that will benefit everyone concerned in the future. Opportunity will develop through the company you keep.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Give-and-take will be necessary, but don't allow anyone to use emotional blackmail on you. Think and do what's best for you, not what others want you to. Put greater emphasis on your goals, and you will avoid meddlers, users, and abusers.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Put pressure on whoever you need to come through for you in order to take care of a responsibility you are obliged to complete. Your ability to make things happen by pulling together the right people will demonstrate your leadership.

 

 

 

 


A partial list of things I should probably tell every prospective boyfriend:

• Two nights a week I binge on peanut butter, manly protein bars, and iron pills. Don't judge me; I give plasma.

• I dislike roses, but I like pansies … in my garden, not in my bed.

• I bet I can guess your favorite cereal in 20 guesses or fewer. In your kitchen. With your eyes closed.

• Why yes, yes, that is Avoid the Stork lip balm you taste.

• I've only been to the Campus Recreation & Wellness Center three times. Once to go in the hot tub and reward myself with a Tropical Smoothie. Once to show off our awesome facility to my UNI friend. And once to vote.

• My last boyfriend called me a lying, cheating bitch when he broke up with me, which simply isn't true; I'm only one of those things.

• My favorite store is Dollar Tree. I haven't found the tree yet, but I keep going to look for it.

• My nicknames include Kissy, Hip-Bag, and Lollypop. For these reasons, I don't tell new friends old stories anymore.

• I'm great with children. Half the children at the childcare where I worked were convinced my last name was "Monopoly."

• I think tattoos are sexy. Especially if they're on muscular men who resemble Ryan Reynolds.

• I don't call my mom very often, but when I do, it usually requires an hour and a half of us gossiping about our favorite soap opera and me meowing at our cat.

Trisha Spence-Monopoly-Wannabe-Reynolds is not a diva.













 
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