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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Emotions will mount, causing you to take unnecessary risks. Be careful, especially while traveling or discussing important matters with anyone in an authoritative position. Best to side with caution than to end up in trouble. Use your energy wisely.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Open your mind and your heart, and you will experience possibilities that can help you obtain a better lifestyle. Your beliefs and attitude can take a positive turn that will help you mentally, physically and emotionally. Strive to be your best.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Put your energy into physical self-improvement. It's time to start anew and build up your confidence by reaching for your prime target. Don't let love or an emotional relationship hold you back. Focus on what's best for you.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Let your imagination lead the way. A chance to develop a skill or embrace a challenge you've always wanted to conquer must be taken. Fear of failure is no reason to shy away from trying something new. Love is on the rise.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You'll thrive on change and excitement, but beware of the pitfalls that accompany such activities. Too much of anything will be a problem. Stick to what you know you can do and the budget you've allowed, and you will be fine.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You can accomplish whatever you set out to do. Your energy is high and your ability to surpass expectations is on target. A chance to show off and enhance your reputation will add to your satisfaction and confidence.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Listen carefully to grievances or complaints from roommates or loved ones. If you don't make an effort to fix whatever isn't working, you will be criticized. Whatever you do, take care of your responsibilities first and foremost.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Talk about your plans and discoveries. You will interest someone in a project you need help finishing. The favors offered will be worth considering a partnership. The opportunity to turn an idea into a profitable venture is looking good.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Emotions coupled with bravado will end in disaster. Don't jump to conclusions or take sides. Meddling or getting involved in matters that can lead to a precarious situation must be avoided. Concentrate on your home; make it the best it can be.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Travel and share your experiences with people who have similar interests. You can make positive changes to your personal life and your home base if you are open to suggestions from those the alterations will affect most.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Good fortune will be yours if you use your imagination and innovative ideas to help others. What you offer will be well-received, and the favors you get in return will help you move in a positive and progressive direction.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don't make impulsive moves that might hinder your position or status. You have to protect your reputation and work diligently toward a worthwhile goal that will bring you positive recognition. Strive for perfection, and you will receive praise.

 

 

 

 


A partial list of things I should probably tell every prospective girlfriend:

• I have an inferiority complex. But not a very good one.

• Sometimes I like to copy the same large file to three different locations and call the progress bar race like I'm at a horse track.

• I all too often feel the need to repent for my excessive interests in human life and culture. It's true: I'm overly anthropologetic.

• I don't like having sex to music because I once dated a woman who was really into show tunes. Few situations in life can match the absurdity of achieving multiple climaxes as Judy Collins warbles "Send in the Clowns" out of a dusty AIWA boom box.

• I'm into working out and stuff. I like to listen to Journey and wail on my pecs.

• If I'm ever looking for something and just can't seem to find it, tell me to check the fridge. This applies to non-edible things (such as keys and sunglasses) as much as anything else. Including cats.

• If you're topless, do not tell me anything you want me to remember. Because I won't hear you.

• You know what I like better than almost anything? Answering my own questions.

• I think the best part of any Wiz Khalifa song is the part where Wiz Khalifa isn't rapping.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks Matt Gorman for contributing to today's Ledge.













 
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