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ARIES (March 21-April 19): You are on the right track mentally, emotionally, and financially, but you have to take better care of yourself physically. Make sure you get rest and avoid any activities that have the potential to lead to injury.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Overly emotional actions will bring the same in return. You have to monitor what you do and say if you want to get things accomplished. Put your energy into doing something constructive. Set an example, and you will gain respect.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Do your best to please those around you. Planning festive events that bring people together will enhance your relationships with your business and personal friends. Fix up your home to reflect your mood. Your suggestions will be inspired.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Put a push behind the things you have to finish before the year ends. It's important to work hard and show your value to the people around you. A change will favor you and your position. Apply for better jobs or advancement.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Show everyone how things are done. You'll shine if you step into the limelight. Socializing with colleagues will allow you to network with people who can influence your future. Your ideas will impress and interest someone important.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Be careful how you approach sensitive issues. Not everyone will feel the same way you do. Focus on appreciating the ones you love. Shopping will lead to some good purchases, but be careful not to spend more than you can afford.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Use your imagination to get ahead. The ideas you share now will help you advance in the future. Your abilities to initiate change and to teach and learn from being a team player will separate you from the crowd.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You may know what you want to accomplish, but an emotional conflict will hold you back if allowed to spin out of control. If change is needed, you must be willing to make the adjustments quickly so you can move on without worry.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Make alterations at home or to the way you live that will save money and ease stress. Taking care of paperwork will help you get set for the new year. A good idea will bring great response from family and friends.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Expect to have visitors sharing your space. Open your doors to friends and family, and you will be given all sorts of excellent suggestions for some of the issues that have been bothering you. Favors will be granted.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Let your emotions out. Share your thoughts and your game plan for the future. Not only will you receive the help you need, you'll also find comfort in knowing that you don't have to do things alone.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don't argue when understanding is required. Listen attentively and offer what you can to ease someone's stress. Love is in the stars, and planning a special evening with someone you fancy will enhance your relationship.

 

 

 

 


General and unsolicited advice:

• A gym membership is not a magical, talismanic card that makes you healthier simply because you carry it around in your wallet. Trust me on this one.

• Easiest possible way to increase your classiness coefficient: Start calling tartar sauce "rémoulade." You're not having fish fingers and tartar sauce, you're having "breaded haddock with rémoulade." And Franzia.

• Every presentation, no matter the setting, can be enhanced via strategic use of a fog machine.

• Never ever, ever, ever, even when you want to, even when you think you cannot possibly continue, ever, ever, ever give up on your dreams. Unless they're stupid.

• "Because I thought it would be funny" is rarely an admissible defense in a court of law.

• Sometimes, you just need to be an adult, be honest with yourself, and admit that, sure, you could really go for some Cheetos right about now.

• Never self-diagnose yourself with WebMD. You will have cancer. You will always have cancer.

• If you ever walk into a Famous Footwear, Payless Shoe Source, or similar cobbler-type shop, and the salesperson asks you if there's anything s/he can help you find, simply reply: "Do you have any shoes?" It's worth getting kicked out over.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks Brian Tanner and Jayne Sanderson for help with today's Ledge.













 
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