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ARIES (March 21-April 19): A financial change will help you plan for the future. Stay within your means, and you will ease your stress. You don't have to be generous with your cash to win friends; your time, patience, and understanding will be plenty.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Make plans to take part in a stimulating event or activity that offers the opportunity to network and develop a project you want to pursue. Love is highlighted, and spending time romancing someone you care for will bring high returns.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Emotional deception will develop if you show uncertainty regarding the way you feel about something or someone. You have to be as honest and straightforward as possible in order to invite the right kind of attention and results.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): A change in a partnership will leave you questioning what went wrong. Ulterior motives are probably at the root of any problem you encounter. Be honest about what you really want, and proceed in a direction that will satisfy your needs.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): A change of pace and location will get you thinking about what and where you are heading. Don't let a financial concern stop you from following through with your plans. You mustn't let anyone take advantage of your generosity.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don't get angry or upset; get moving. It's up to you to follow through with your plans, regardless of what anyone else decides to do. Don't rely on others to make choices for you or to do what you want. Romantic opportunity is apparent.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Put time and effort into perfecting your home emotionally, physically, and financially. Go over personal papers. Making alterations that better suit your goals will encourage you to start a project you've been putting off.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You'll be drawn to a partnership that looks creatively promising. Making suggestions will bring you closer to a decision that can translate into higher income and greater flexibility. A short trip will enhance a relationship.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Expect to be asked to take on someone else's responsibilities. Do what you can, but don't jeopardize your own work. An old friend will be able to help you out. Visiting and talking face-to-face will help you get what you want.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Enjoy getting to know some of your peers better. Your presence at a gathering will make you more approachable to a wider variety of people. Discussing what people do and don't like will help you make better choices. Love is in the stars.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Not everyone will understand what you are trying to do. Don't let your emotions take over. You have to do things as you see fit and for the right reasons. Ulterior motives won't work. Honesty is first and foremost.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Arguing won't get you anywhere. You'll be pulled between two choices: One you want and one you feel obliged to follow to completion. Love is in the stars, and romance will enhance your personal life and your future.

 

 

 

 


Andrew R. Juhl, Professor of Letters:

• Dear Gatorade: Back the eff off, already. Seriously. America has all the freaking hydration options it needs at the moment, thanks.

• Dear Kristin Stewart: Do you constantly have the flu or what? What makes you look like that? Always? Get well soon. Please. As is, you really freak me out.

• Dear Microsoft: Why do you have all those "Remember my password" buttons if you are NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY REMEMBER MY PASSWORD?

• Dear Car Title: Congratulations, you are today's bookmark.

• Dear All Athletes Ever Interviewed Ever: I, in fact, do not know.

• Dear Web Designer Who Made Your Background Color Nearly Identical to Your Text Color: You are the absolute worst type of person. I just wanted to know the lyrics to the laughing gnome song, and now I have to CTL+A. CTL+A?. Like I have that kind of time.

• Dear Bathroom Attendant at Swanky Awards Dinner: I am not going to give you money. There are still gas stations in need of cashiers and there are still Wendy's in need of fry cooks. All you do is leer at me as I wash my hands and impede my egress from the bathroom. You know who else asks me for money without doing anything to earn it? Homeless people. But I actually give money to homeless because they don't stand there and watch me while I urinate.

— Andrew R. Juhl thanks his friends Lindsay and Jayne Sanderson for help with today's Ledge.













 
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