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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don't take anything you have for granted. Problems at work will surface if you are a know-it-all. Listen and be attentive both at work and home, and you will end up getting what you want. Arguments are for losers.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Someone will try to take advantage of you. Don't offer cash or your time to an organization claiming to help those in need. Work toward your own goals, and help those you love. Charity begins at home. Love is on the rise.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Trust your instincts when it comes to partnerships, business deals, and getting ahead professionally. There is a window of opportunity if you are imaginative in the way you present what you have to offer.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You'll find it difficult to make a decision based on what you know or hear from others. Until you have all the facts straight in your head, don't make a move that could leave you in a precarious position. Don't take a risk.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Put your money into something that will help you save. Budget wisely now, and you will look like a genius in the months to come. You can have fun with friends and make new acquaintances without overspending or offering to pay for others.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don't let anyone upset you. You need to have a clear view of what's expected of you at work in order to do your best. Ask questions, and get involved in whatever will help you get ahead. Forget about petty arguments.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Put a little pizzazz into whatever you do. Get out of the house and socialize with people who have something to offer in return. Communication and mingling will lead to an opportunity you won't want to miss.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Get the information you need before making a move. Someone trying to sell you something will be intentionally misleading. You can control the situation if you are prepared. Have an expert on hand to check what's being said.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Good fortune is within reach. Someone from your past will help you get what you want now. Recognition will be yours if you sell yourself well and are passionate about what you do.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Keep things to yourself for now. The element of surprise will help you get ahead. Your timing must be impeccable and your insight on target in order to come out on top. There is money to be made if you are calculating.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You should be moving full speed ahead. Looking for work, a raise, or a promotion should be your top priority. A past acquaintance will help you now. Contact people you have worked with or for. Ask, and you will receive.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Communication is deceiving. Read between the lines, and make sure you understand what's being said before you commit to anything. You are better off doing your own thing rather than joining forces with someone else.

 

 

 

 


Possible New Slogans for Nebraska:

• America's Lorem Ipsum.

• Easily Navigable.

• Spit where you'd like.

• More afraid of you than you are of it.

• Cannibal Free Since '62.

• An expletive in Klingon.

• Birthplace of … uh, Kool-Aid? Yeah, we got nothin'.

• The state Omaha is trying to sneak out of.

• We're cool cuz we're in a Lady Gewgaw song. Lady Googoo? Somebody call my niece, Amber, and have explain this to me.

• Come see our hill.

• Send help.

• We only had a little slavery.

• Where East meets West and both ask, "When does this state end?"

• One of the America's five best panhandles.

• We're very sorry, and we'll try to make it up to you somehow.

• We're not sure why they don't test the nukes here, either.

• Just ... I don't know … come here? Please? We have coffee.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks Matt, Tyler, Scott, Becca, Mal, Brian, Lindsay, Duane, and Erik.













 
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