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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don't let your emotions limit you. Problems with partnerships will arise if you feel inadequate or displaced. Don't dwell on the negative. Fix whatever isn't working for you, and prepare to move forward. It's mind over matter that counts.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Look for an opportunity, and you will find one. Online research will bring the answer you need to change what isn't working for you. Love is highlighted, and romance will enhance a relationship with someone you cherish.

MINI (May 21-June 20): Not everyone you work with or deal with while looking for work will be honest with you. Don't take anything for granted. Make sure others deliver what's being offered or promised in writing. A money issue must be rectified before it damages a relationship.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don't put limitations on yourself. Speak up — you will get the feedback you require to advance. Update your skills and your image. Keeping up with the times will connect you to people in the know and help you move upward.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Don't be fooled by what others do or say. Act on your own findings rather than what someone else suggests. Deception revolving around money and what you can or cannot afford is apparent. It's important that you stick to your budget.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Take action, and grab what you want. This is not the time to be shy or hesitant. A chance to do something for others will lead to personal success. Love is on the rise, and prosperity is beckoning.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Laziness will be your downfall. Do everything you can before someone complains. Experience will help now, especially where financial and personal matters are concerned. You can't buy love, nor should you expect anyone to pay for your love.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Talks will lead to solutions. An opportunity will be the result of an understanding you come to with someone you are considering or with whom you are already partnered. It's critical that you share your intentions fully to ensure you aren't wasting time.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Don't take anything or anyone for granted. Make subtle changes at home that better fit your lifestyle. Not everyone will be happy with your choices, but it's important that you follow your heart and let everything else unfold naturally.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A little effort will go a long way. Focus on what you can do to bring good fortune into your home and your domestic life. Make a choice that allows you greater financial freedom. Offer a service that will help pay the bills.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Don't be blinded by what someone insinuates. You have to base your decisions on truth and fact. Don't travel far from home or let anyone cost you financially or emotionally. Stick to your own agenda, and you will succeed.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Take the past into account when making legal, financial, or emotional decisions. Too much of anything will cause confusion. Helping others will bring you good fortune. Don't limit what you can do because of someone who is burdensome or restrictive.

 

 

 

 


Zombified sayings:

• A house is where you hang your hat; a home is where you hang a zombie from a tree as a warning to other zombies, not that they'll understand it.

• A zombie herd is only as strong as its weakest zombie, which is pretty strong because even the weakest zombie is an untiringly ceaseless undead monster.

• The best laid plans of mice and men are still better than any made by those of the mindless zombie horde.

• Let's cross that bridge when we get there, and then blow it up so the zombies can't cross it, too.

• See no zombie, hear no zombie, speak like there's still a zombie nearby because chances are there probably is.

• See a penny, leave it there; coinage has no place in our postapocalyptic society, and you need to remain unencumbered.

• You can't make an omelet without killing a few zombies roaming near the chicken coop.

• Sticks and stones may break their bones, but words will never hurt zombies. Use the howitzer.

• It's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a zombie to climb a rope ladder.

• Beware of zombies bearing gifts. And zombies in general. They're fucking zombies, people.

• Call a zombie a zombie. Then hit it with a spade.

• Zombies of a feather means the virus has gone airborne and all hope is lost.

• Nothing is certain in life but taxes.

— Andrew R. Juhl thanks Brian Tanner for giving him this wonderful idea.













 
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