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New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don't let anyone take advantage of you. Do things that will benefit you rather than someone else. Take control, refuse to give in to demands, and set the rules to suit your needs. If change is required, be the instigator.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Apply pressure if someone disappoints you. You have to strengthen your position and stand up for your rights. An old friend will help you out. Don't let your emotions hold you back. Make a decision based on facts.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Take on a challenge with fervor. Beware of interference from others. A change of heart can lead to new friendships. Don't let work cost you personally. Take care of your domestic responsibilities, no matter what it takes.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Moodiness will ruin your plans. A hobby will help take your mind off someone who is causing you grief. Don't let anyone put you in an uncompromising position. A change due to an older or younger relative can be expected.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Ask questions, and find out the facts before you make a personal or financial decision. An impulsive move may solve one problem, but it's sure to cause another. You are better off getting as far away from an unsavory situation as possible.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Follow your heart, and you will find a way to cut corners and get ahead. Don't remain idle when an opportunity is within reach. You will end up in a better position if you put more thought and effort into the way you use your experience and skills.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Consider what's important and necessary to be successful. Don't let laziness or the obstacles in your way be your excuse. Face competition or challenges head-on. Win or lose, what counts is how you play the game.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don't let anyone put you down. Your reputation must be kept intact. Ask for a favor if it will ensure that you will be able to reach your goals. Speak from the heart, and avoid misconceptions that might give the wrong impression.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Do your best to avoid an unsavory situation. Diplomacy will be required. Keep yourself busy with projects that interest you or by picking up knowledge that will help further your goals. Make sure you know what's expected of you.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Caution will be required, but so will speed, flexibility, and the determination to finish what you start. The more you do and the further you travel mentally and physically, the better off you'll be. Greater negotiating power will result in higher cash returns.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): An emotional situation will make it hard to hold on to money. Talk to someone who makes wise financial decisions, and you will find out how to make yours work for you. Good judgment will be required. Overindulgence will be your downfall.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Communication will lead to resolutions. Contracts, agreements, and getting some sort of plan in place will add to your security and overall well-being. Love and romance are highlighted. Celebrate your good fortune. Opportunities are within reach.

 

 

 

 


I am Your New Boy Scout Troop Leader, and These are My Rules:

• I bet you're all expecting me to make a joke here about Fight Club, aren't you? Well, I'm not. The first rule of Boy Scouts is that WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB.

• You shall only refer to me as "Mr. Juhl," "Scoutmaster Juhl," "Sir, Mr. Scoutmaster Juhl, Sir," or "Legolas."

• This troop's new theme song is "Young Folks," by Peter Bjorn and John. But only the whistling part. Learn it.

• Taking a note from Lady Gaga, I'm going to be referring to you all as "Little Bastards."

• I am not here to listen to you complain about what a bad scoutmaster I am; I am here to fulfill my court-ordered community-service requirement. And to sell you weed.

• Whenever there isn't a beer in my hand, you Little Bastards should be tripping over yourselves to get me another.

• We do not "go on camp outings." We "engage in survival-training preparation for the imminent zombocalypse."

• If you can't tie a clove hitch by the time you make Second Class, you will submit to mortal combat in the Thunderdome.

• I'm just kidding. The clove hitch is a useless knot. And scouts will only be sentenced to the Thunderdome in accordance with my drunken whims.

• At the campfire, you get one hot dog and two S'mores apiece. That's it! This is the Boy Scouts of America, not the Old Country Buffet. Fat Little Bastards.

• When we play Monopoly, I get to be the m@therf#cking Top Hat!

• Don't tell your parents. Please?

Andrew R. Juhl was an Eagle Scout. Ish.













 
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