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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Put greater effort into your partnerships. Even if you don't agree with someone, be diplomatic. Avoiding confrontation will ensure opportunity. Love is highlighted. Enrich a new or old relationship with a show of affection.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Criticism will lead to trouble. Look for the positive in every situation, and you can avoid an argument. Too much of anything will be frowned upon by someone who is important to you. Keep track of your time and your spending habits.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Take care of matters that can affect your finances. Don't leave important documents for someone else to handle. Deal with institutions or government agencies with speed and accuracy. Hard work, coupled with originality, will help you excel.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): An opportunity will arise if you offer your services to an organization you respect. Love is in the stars, and mingling with other singles or doing something special with your current partner will enhance your love life. Go shopping, and update your image.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Don't make assumptions, or you will be disappointed. Promises are not likely to be kept. As charming as you may be, someone will find fault with what you do or say. Fix up your surroundings, but stay within your budget. Protect your assets.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You need to get away and explore new people, places, and things. Socializing and participating in events will help you gain confidence. An opportunity to impress someone special will lead to personal rewards. Consider making a residential or lifestyle change.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Someone from your past may offer to help you out, but find out what's expected in return before accepting. Work hard and reap rewards based on your own merit. Your success will overrule someone who tends to brag.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Let your charm and experience shine through. Love is highlighted, and taking time to reinforce your feelings for someone will pay off. Someone will surprise you with unusual information that can alter your current professional status. Don't feel you have to make a hasty decision.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): It's time to consider making some alterations that will help you financially, emotionally, or physically. Cutting down your overhead or investing in something that will grow in value should be your goal. Don't overindulge or overspend on luxury items.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Take any opportunity you get to bring loved ones closer together. Make changes to your home that will encourage everyone to participate in your plans. Travel will not bring you the results you hoped for. Do whatever needs doing from the comfort of home.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Work toward your goal, even if someone you love complains. It's vital that you don't take on too much. Someone will misinterpret what you say if you aren't specific. Don't take chances when dealing with people looking for a handout.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): An opportunity to hook up with someone from your past will pay off. A financial opportunity is apparent. Making a change to the way you live or do things will also help to lower your overhead and increase your intake. Love is in the stars.

 

 

 

 


Advice for my nephew:

• Bert and Ernie can see you through the television screen and will tell Mommy if you're being bad.

• Eat as much candy as you want — you're going to lose those baby teeth anyway. You can ruin those shoes, too; they won't fit you in two months.

• Always tell the truth. (You need to build up credibility for all the lies down the road.)

• Xbox Live is for nerdy adults who talk about politics and boring old-people stuff. Kids shouldn't bother.

• Learn to like Legos and Ninja Turtles; you're going to get a lot of them. You'll get to play with me, too. I get Leonardo.

• Sometimes, the endings of movies change, so watch them over and over and over.

• Chicks love little kids, so if you learn to pout, act lost, and cry on command, I'll take you to the park all the time.

• If you catch a fish that weighs more than you do, I'll buy you anything you want. You're only going to get heavier, so I'd start now if I were you.

• First day of school, climb to the top of the monkey bars and stay there for one minute after the whistle blows. You'll never get picked last in any game.

• I'll buy you a little red wagon, but if you can't use it to pull my drunk body home by the time you're 7, I'm taking it back.

• If you eat any coins or small trinkets, follow it with Play-Doh; that'll catch everything on its way out.

• Don't cry around me, I don't care. If you stop being fun, you're going back to your parents' house. Now, entertain me.

Nathan Wulf finally has a reason to visit his sister.













 
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