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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Impulsive action will not bring good results. You must avoid arguments. A relationship may be on the line if you cannot bring yourself to compromise or to see both sides of a situation you face. Now is not the time to make a drastic life change.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Put greater emphasis on your future. Avoid a falling out with a colleague, employer, or authority figure. A snap decision regarding your career will not be beneficial. You must think matters through. Ask questions, and listen to advice.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Take part in an event, activity, or fundraiser that will help you stand out. Recognition for your generosity will lead to something worth your time and effort. Someone you impress will make you an offer. Take a leap of faith.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Pick up skills and information or anything that will help you advance. Put some effort into a relationship that means something to you. Avoid being critical when encouragement is what's required. Don't mislead; be upfront about your intentions.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Keep life simple; don't brag or take on too much. Learning will help refresh your memory and call to mind what you already know. Get domestic chores out of the way or consider making a move. You'll come up with a creative way to make extra cash.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Protect what you have. Giving out too much information or being to readily available to help demanding people will cut into valuable time you need to pursue your own projects. Avoid impulse purchases or hasty decisions that can lead to worry.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Communicate. Find out where you stand and what possibilities lay ahead. Don't procrastinate because you sense some difficulty may occur. Strive to overcome anything or anyone that tries to slow your progress. Original ideas will help you bypass setbacks.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Follow your intuition. Use your talents, and you will spark interest from someone you've worked with in the past. Hone your skills rather than fight the impossible. Follow your heart and your dreams.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Home and self improvements should be at the top of your list. Clear up odd jobs. A change at home will help you reflect on what's happened in the past and how you should move forward in the future.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Stick to what you know. Assumptions will get to trouble. A problem with communication will lead to a sudden turn of events that can alter your day. Don't give an answer or make a promise without having all the pertinent facts.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Make changes that will benefit you emotionally, financially, and physically. Take the initiative, and ask for whatever you need to follow through with your plans. A partnership will lead to greater opportunities and benefits.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Follow a creative dream. Put together proposals, and present what you have to offer to someone in an influential position. Someone you least expect from your past will step up and offer help if you share your ideas. A deal can be made.





We hold these truths to be self-evident (and a little nerdy):

• Somebody really needs to explain the concept of infinity to Buzz Lightyear.

• The Justice League of America will always be able to edge out the Avengers in heavy traffic because the League has the Green Arrow.

• "Hoboken" sounds not so much like a city as it does a martial art honed to perfection by generations of the destitute.

• I like Ultimate Frisbee because there aren't nearly as many continuity issues as there are in the original Frisbee.

• Paramount missed a golden opportunity by not marketing its Chris Pine Star Trek reboot as Star Trek: Control+Z.

• Far too many people think ligers are cooler than tigons, and it's simply not true.

• Ever wonder if Clark Kent is circumcised? I'm guessing he's not.

• How does Obi Wan know the Sand People are easily startled? I like to imagine him stalking the desert wastes of Tatooine with a balloon, a sewing needle, and a rakish grin.

• You know who would win in a fight between Alien and Wolverine? It doesn't matter. Because, consider this: despite his adamantium skeleton (just go with me here, fanboys), Wolverine's floating ribs could allow for a chestburster to grow inside and exit his body through his lower ribcage; but Wolverine's healing factor means that, probably, seriously, Wolverine could actually LIVE THROUGH A CHESTBURSTER, then FIGHT THAT ALIEN a little while later. And that's so cool it doesn't even matter who would win. How has this crossover never happened!?

Andrew R. Juhl thanks Brian Tanner and his friend Chris for contributing jokes to today's Ledge.

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