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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Re-evaluate your connections to others. If you are in an ineffective partnership, you may want to make changes or at least discuss them. Make decisions based on what works for you, and you will quickly discover who is a keeper and who isn't.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)): Too much of anything will work against you. Concentrate on taking better care of your health and your relationships. Befriend people who share your interests and contribute to your life. Stop procrastinating. Move forward with your plans.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Socialize and participate to meet people who can contribute to your goals. When signing an agreement or entering a joint venture, don't lose sight of what you have to offer, or you will end up taking less than you deserve. Romance is highlighted.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Sensitivity will lead to problems. Don't take what others say to heart. Concentrate on helping others, and forget about any annoyances. It's time to put your own needs first and turn to entertaining pastimes that help eliminate frustration.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You'll be the center of attention if you get together with friends, neighbors, or anyone you might want to get to know better. A change of scenery will inspire you to make changes that will improve your life. Don't let someone's overindulgence cause trouble. Love is on the rise.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You may have to take a stroll down memory lane before you can move forward constructively. Mulling over your past, present, and future goals will help you formulate a plan that shows promise. Follow your dreams.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Emotional instability because of criticism or complaints will leave you in a vulnerable position. Don't let last-minute changes ruin your plans. Embrace those who are supportive, positive, and share your goals; walk away from those who aren't.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Time is on your side. Double-check any information you've been given. You don't want to act on false pretenses. Once you've got all your facts straight, you can move forward more aggressively. Don't share your intentions until they are underway.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Enjoy the moment. Your positive, outgoing attitude will help you move ahead personally and professionally. You'll get the backing you need, but don't overstep your bounds by promising something you cannot deliver. Love is in the stars.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Worry will get you nowhere. Don't let the doom and gloom of others deter you from moving ahead. Before taking action, sort out how to proceed with an idea you have been contemplating. Reassess your situation, and put your plans into motion.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You can get ahead if you concentrate on finances, settlements, agreements, contracts, and anything else that could change your current situation. Stick to simple and moderate plans that will ensure slow but constant growth. Love looks promising.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Be careful what you sign up for. Taking on someone else's problems can lead to personal setbacks. Putting pressure on any situation will be met with equal resistance. Protect your assets, or someone may try to take what rightfully belongs to you.

 

 

 

 


Signs your girlfriend is too young:

• She makes you kiss her, pause mid-makeout, reach your arm out, and capture the moment on camera. She then proceeds to squeal, "NEW PROFY PIC."

• She hangs out at the mall, where "getting crazy" involves treating herself to a soft pretzel.

• She has Bieber Fever. Baby, baby, baby ah-choo. (I'm dreaming of the day there will be a Bieber Fever vaccine.)

• She still writes on her Xanga daily. (Today she ate a peanut butter and banana "sammich" for lunch.)

• She won't eat gummy bears, teddy grahams, or animal crackers because "they have feelings, too."

• Ninety-five percent of her Facebook pictures were taken in front of a bathroom mirror. (Do toilets have some slenderizing effect that I'm unaware of?)

• She writes you notes and folds them up like a paper football.

• She still proclaims that vegetables are yucky. (Have fun growing improperly, kid.)

• Still brushes her teeth with a two-minute timed musical toothbrush that plays Hannah Montana songs

• She thinks "No Tears" shampoo will keep her from sobbing in the shower about you ditching her for the boys

• Can't tell time on an analog clock. (Oh, wait … I can't really do this either.)

• She insists you tuck her in to bed every night. (What a sheets-shaker.)

• She still shops at Hollister.

Carly Correll says she's not too young for you, bros.













 
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