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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Mix business with pleasure, and dazzle everyone with your social skills. Share your ideas and someone influential will collaborate with you. Expect a change in your relationships with others. Jealousy may cause someone to react poorly.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Embrace change with open arms; you will learn something new from the experience. A change of scenery will help you put your future in perspective. You will have a good eye when it comes to trendy items. Don't be afraid to be daring.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Don't overlook others' expectations. Satisfy everyone's needs, and you will be able to take care of your own concerns without interference. Deal with institutions swiftly. Give out as little information as possible to avoid being detained.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Mix and mingle with friends, neighbors, and peers. The more you discuss your plans, the easier it will be for others to see things your way. Don't let a problem with a loved one cause you to be nonproductive. Get serious and forge ahead.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): If there is somewhere you want to go or something you have to do, take the initiative, regardless of what anyone else says. Concentrate on your goals and refrain from meddling in others' affairs. You will work better on your own, so do your own thing.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Be practical. Don't let anyone talk you into doing something that may infringe on your security, stability, or well-being. Listen and offer sound advice, but don't take over. Guide and motivate others, but get on with your own plans.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): An investment will pay off or lead to a new venture that could improve your current lifestyle. Helping an older person will result in rewards that you weren't expecting. Changes at work will improve your reputation and your status.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A false sense in a relationship must be identified and re-evaluated. Motives must be based on realistic expectations. A partnership will be enhanced if you openly discuss roles and how they should be administered.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Change is upon you. You can stabilize your life if you are diligent regarding productivity. However, if you get caught up in personal melodrama, you'll miss a chance to get ahead. Your restless nature will be your downfall.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Show your true colors. Once everyone is aware of what you are striving for, it will be difficult to alter your direction. Think big within your budget. Use your masterful ability to get the most for your money by doing what you can on your own.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Take care of issues quickly. The less you have hanging over your head, the easier it will be to take advantage of an opportunity to start something new. Work alone, and keep your project small and simple until it's perfected.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Your intuition will help you avoid getting involved in a troubled partnership. Keep an open mind, and look into unusual interests to discover a talent you didn't know you had. Reunite with someone you used to know.





Rejected Ledges:

• Eight ways to take over the world using everyday household items

• 15 things your dog more closely resembles than a dog

• 11 ways to liven up a dull funeral

• 13 fun ways to scare the poop out of superstitious people

• Overheard on Xbox Live

• The probable consequences of drinking a shot of Soco, Ice 101, two shots of Jameson, and three Irish Carbombs in 45 minutes

• 10 ways to burn calories using licorice

• 12 recent movies that would be better if the entire cast had been replaced with squirrels

• Knock-knock jokes that'll get her in the sack

• Top 10 things old people yell at from porches

• 14 household items you can build using pizza boxes

• My top 10 Iowa City spots to lie nude

• Best Cat/kite combinations for specific distance/height goals

• Top 11 reasons to pretend you're sleeping

• 150 Pokémon that I would date and invite inside

• Synonyms for fart for every occasion

• Top three orifices to use to drink if your mouth is detained

• Top 16,504,232 site names when I Google "cat," "garden hose," "banana hammock," and "lederhosen."

— Nathan Wulf didn't write this, but if he did, this is how he would have done it.

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