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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Avoid situations that will add to your anxious mood. Relax and look at whatever situation you face practically. Once you decipher what’s required, work toward getting the best end result. You will advance if you are precise and reasonable.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You can make headway at home and work if you push to be more productive. Your efforts will be impressive and lead to advancement, gratitude, and rewards. Your concern and sensible approach confirm how valuable and reliable you are.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Take action if you have concern. Doing your best to help those less fortunate will change the way you think. Difficulties with friends or while networking will occur if you share too much personal information.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Strive for perfection, and choose your words wisely. With the right mix of mental and physical reaction, you will accomplish all you set out to do. Do something special for the people you love. Good fortune will come from helping others.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Opportunity is apparent, but don’t feel that you have to do things on a grand scale. Simple and moderate can be just as effective in bringing a higher profit personally, professionally, or financially. Trying something new will feed your imagination.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Opportunities are apparent. Travel, communicate, and mull over possibilities with peers; you will develop something worthwhile. Networking and socializing will result in potential partnerships that can lead to profits, if your motives are practical.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): A snap judgment will lead to emotional problems. Secrets must be kept for now, and emphasis must be put on protecting your money, possessions, and reputation. Avoid getting backed into a corner. Less said, less interference.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Concentrate on personal and professional strategy. Patience will be the key to achieving your goals. Your secretive nature will drum up curiosity and protect you from having your game plan disrupted by someone who is jealous or in competition with you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You’ll find it difficult to stay out of trouble. You may want to fill your life with adventure, but keeping the peace and avoiding controversial situations is a must for now. Stick close to home; busy yourself with domestic changes

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Enjoy the benefits of organizations you belong to. Use whatever you can to improve your financial position. Consider opportunities that pertain to family and changes that will lower overhead. Love is on the rise, and romance should be scheduled.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Focus on what you can do to stabilize your life mentally, physically, or financially. Set your course carefully to make the most out of what you have to work with. Do what’s best for you in a timely fashion. Experience will play an important role.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Personal and professional maneuvers will be necessary to stay in control at home and at work. Take on more responsibility if it will bring you the clout to get things done your way. A partnership will weigh heavily on the decisions you make.

 

 

 

 


A partial list of things I should tell every prospective boyfriend:

• If you can’t kill spiders, you can’t get in my bed.

• The best 69 cents you could ever spend on me is a fountain pop consisting of half Diet Dr. Pepper and half Diet Coke. The Kum & Go manager is my friend, but you and I could be even closer if you show up at my door with a fountain pop instead of flowers.

• I will never order a salad and water on a dinner date. Unless it comes with a hamburger. Or a steak. Or a bottomless pitcher of beer. Also: You should probably just marry me now, before my metabolism slows down.

• I won’t wash my hair every day. Get used to it. They didn’t make baby powder for babies’ bottoms; they made it for college girls with two-day-old unwashed tresses. Yeah, now you really want to go out with me. I can smell it (or is that my hair?).

• No boy has ever won me a stuffed animal before. So if you really want to impress me, win me a fluffy unicorn.

• Sometimes, I just need my personal space. If you even breathe in my personal bubble, it will pop, and I might attack. I’m only 5-4, but I can do a lot of damage.

• I will run late, and you will wait for me. So you better get used to it now. You will never understand what it takes to deal with a foot of disobedient, unwashed hair.

• Fancy dinners? Screw those. Just get me a sandwich and a PBR from the Pit. I’ll love you more.

— Carlynne Correll will marry the first boy to bring her a fountain pop and a fluffy unicorn.













 
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